October Encouragement 2023 Here’s a tough one! Let us take a few steps in Eph 5:8-14 NLT Step #1-Know who you were and who you are now. v.8 For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! Step #2-Know what this light will do. v.9 For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Step #3-Know what pleases the Lord. v.10 Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Step #4-Don’t take part. v.11 Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. Step #5-Don’t talk about it (uh-oh) v.12 It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. Step#6-So, how is the darkness and all that evil exposed? v.13-14 But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, "Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light." Take comfort that the Lord makes light work of evil. Am I hearing “Amens” and “Ouches” out there? Let me know. Reply with an Amen or an Ouch. (or both). I’ll start! Amen and Ouch!!!!

July Encouragement 2023 Jesus said unto him, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." [Matthew 22:37 KJV] Can we truly follow God without first obeying these words of Jesus? We can't do it with head knowledge. No. That would be, "Thou shalt KNOW the Lord thy God with all thy head, and with all thy brains, and with all thy mind." Right? Many of us walk headlong with Jesus just this way, every day…wobbling along. Now Jesus does say to "love the Lord thy God with all your mind", but Jesus goes straight for the heart first, you see. Do you remember this encounter with Peter: He said to him the third time, "Simon, [son] of John, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Tend My sheep." [John 21:17 NASB95] Okay, so why is this encounter and why are Jesus' words so important to Peter at this time? Jesus is going to tell Peter about his future because the next thing He says to Peter is this, "Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to gird yourself and walk wherever you wished; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will gird you, and bring you where you do not wish to [go.]" Now this He said, signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, "Follow Me!" [John 21:18-19 NASB95] Now, if we remember, in Matthew 4, Jesus said to Peter and Andrew, "Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men." [Matthew 4:19 NASB95] I believe Jesus is asking Peter to follow Him again here to confirm that the "fisher of men" would now take the next step and be the "feeder of men." He also let him know that the consequences of following Jesus would be deadly. Jesus was reaffirming to Peter that love couldn't be expressed as a half measure. He had to be all in and love God with all his heart. Wow! Now that'll wake you up from a night fishing on the lake with the boys...

June encouragement 2023 Please buckle your seat belt. The word the Lord spoke to me is very interesting, and it was very clear. I was working out in the gym, and right above me was one of the many TV screens they have. Resting between sets, I looked up to watch yet another network advocating humanistic spirituality and false doctrine. There was no sound or closed captioning (thank you, Lord!) A moment later, I heard the word: jackals. It didn't take long for the Holy Spirit to show me what that word meant. I knew it wasn't directed at just the infomercial, which initially got my attention, but It pointed out the increasing boldness of the Enemy of our Souls and those "jackals" being used by him. In Jeremiah 51:37, it says: "Babylon will become a heap of [of ruins,] a haunt of jackals, An object of horror and hissing, without inhabitants." We, as the church, cannot escape what's going on in our country at the border, in our schools, businesses, and homes. The number of atrocities and perversions grows daily. It would appear that we are being confronted by spiritual jackals. I believe the picture I chose is quite appropriate, don't you think? Here's something we may not have heard for a while, but many of us wore the wristband, "What would Jesus do?" Well, here's what Jesus told Peter: "I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock, I will build My church, and the gates of Hades will not overpower it." [Matthew 16:18 NASB95] The battle is still going on, so stay strong in Him! Love y’all!

The Spirit of Truth: Allowing God's Word to Transform Your Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviors: Hiscock Ph.D., Kevin, Smuin Ph.D., David Do you struggle with anxiety, worry, depression, and anger? Are you looking for a way to release feelings of inadequacy, bitterness, dysfunctional behaviors, and broken relationships? To break free of these strongholds, Scripture says you must be transformed by changing the way you think. This begins with changing what you say to yourself based on the truth of God’s Word. Grounded in Scripture and using evidenced-based methods, this book describes the thought process and how your thoughts become unhealthy when you believe the lies of the enemy. It provides a step-by-step plan to help you renew your mind while growing closer to the God who made you in His own image and includes: An explanation of your creation in God’s image and why what you say to yourself matters. A review of the latest brain science that supports the need to change your self-talk. 8 lessons describing the thinking process with Scripture references and things to consider about God. A description of how repetitive negative automatic thoughts are connected to core beliefs. Practical applications you can immediately put to use to transform your thinking, enhance your emotions, improve your actions, and ultimately change your negative core beliefs. 230 pre-written Spirit-directed self-talk statements you can use to align your thoughts with God’s Word. The Holy Spirit can transform you by the renewing of your mind and bring you to a closer relationship with God. Begin this journey of strengthening your mental and emotional well-being while deepening your faith! Dr. Kevin Hiscock NCCA Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor; Ph.D. Clinical Christian Contact Info Counselingpathfinders.pastoralcounselor@gmail.com https://www.pathfinderschristiancounseling.com

THE IMPORTANCE OF HELPING PARENTS BECOME AWARE OF THE NEED FOR THEIR SANGUINE YOUTH TO GO THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS OVER THE LOSS OF A SURFACE AND/OR DEEP RELATIONSHIP. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This includes teaching them about death and dying. Since 2020 all over the world, the youth, as well as adults, have been deeply affected by the deaths that have occurred such as a loss of parents, grandparents and friends. Sometimes parents can become so engulfed in their own grief over the death of a spouse, parent or friend that they do not realize their children are also grieving. Now, more than ever, we as Christian counselors, need to help the parents to become aware of the fact that when there is a death in the family or of a close friend, their youth will also be grieving. The parents must also understand that if they have several youths, that each youth will handle their grief in different ways as each youth will usually have a different temperament. Webster II defines grief as “Deep sadness as that caused by bereavement.” The Five Steps to Grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. If the Sanguine youth does not receive help to understand and move through the grieving process, they may become stuck in the anger stage. This anger can be directed towards God, their parents and/or others. We are going to review the Inclusion, Control and Affection areas of the Sanguine youth. SANGUINE YOUTH IN INCLUSION REVIEWING GODLY WAYS, PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR SANGUINE YOUTH IN INCLUSION WORK THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS. Brief description of some of the tendencies of the Sanguine Youth in Inclusion: Relationship-oriented, friendly, outgoing, prone to exaggerate, takes on moral of the crowd, enthusiastic, has temper tantrums, undisciplined, inspiring, talkative and can be emotionally unstable. Regarding the death of a surface or deep relationship, since the Sanguine youth is relationship oriented they may tend to express their feelings with anger as they did not want to lose this relationship. They may self-indulge and overeat to deal with their loss. Also, since they are a Sanguine, they may tend to swing downward, pull away from people and pout; however, when they do this, they can get to the point that they do not want to be around themselves so they will swing back up and seek out people. People will then energize them and help them to deal with their loss. Since the Sanguine youth does not like to lose a relationship, they may also tend to feel anger towards the deceased because they do not like losing friends. HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THE SANGUINE YOUTH IN INCLUSION MOVE THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS? They first need to be aware that they themselves are grieving and that their youth will also be grieving. They then should share with their youth that they are grieving too and that it is okay to grieve. Grieving is a normal emotion, and it is not a sign of weakness. The parents can help the Sanguine youth in Inclusion by being there for them. This is because the youth tends to need to have someone to talk with in order for them to let go of their anger. In other words, the Sanguine youth tends to need a friend to be there for them. A friend that will listen and sympathize with them. The parents can also make an appointment with one of our temperament counselors for their youth. The temperament counselor will then generate an APS report on the youth and counsel them according to their temperament. SANGUINE YOUTH IN CONTROL REVIEWING GODLY WAYS PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR SANGUINE YOUTH IN CONTROL WORK THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS. Brief description of some of the tendencies of the Sanguine youth in Control: Independent, like to control the people around them, need recognition for accomplishments, self-indulgent, swings from being in control to wanting to be controlled when they do not receive recognition and approval and will even abandon responsibilities. Regarding the death of a relationship in the Control area, the Sanguine youth may tend to show a great deal of emotion such as tears and anger. They will swing (narcissistic) and self-indulge and lack persistence. After they deal with their emotions and they begin to feel alone, they are then able to go to the funeral home or memorial services so that they can interact with others that are grieving. When they give others attention, they will not feel so alone. Since the Sanguine youth wants to be in Control, they may also tend to feel anger towards the deceased because they lost control of this person as they did not give them permission to die. HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THE SANGUINE YOUTH IN CONTROL MOVE THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS? They first need to be aware that even though they themselves are grieving, their youth will also be grieving. They can share with the youth that they, the parents, are also grieving and that it is okay for them to grieve because grieving is a normal emotion. The parents can also help the Sanguine youth in Control by being there for them as they tend to need to have someone to talk with in order for them to vent their anger. This is because they want control over the lives and behaviors of others, and when this relationship died, the Sanguine youth lost control—they did not give them permission to die. If not given the ability to express their emotions, the Sanguine youth may abandon their responsibilities and become self-indulgent and narcissistic. Therefore, they need to process their grief so they can move forward with their own life. They can also make an appointment with one of our temperament counselors for their youth. The temperament counselor will then generate an APS report on the youth and counsel them according to their temperament. SANGUINE YOUTH IN AFFECTION REVIEWING GODLY WAYS PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR SANGUINE YOUTH IN AFFECTION WORK THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS. Brief description of some of the tendencies of the Sanguine Youth In Affection: Need deep emotional contact, skin hungry (they need to touch people in order to feel connected), most loveable of the temperaments, express love and affection continuously, compassionate, emotionally unstable, and easily devastated if not reassured that they are loved. Regarding the death of a relationship in the deep Affection area, the Sanguine youth may tend to be very emotional and needy. Therefore, they will express their emotions rather than bottle them up inside. They tend to feel the most comfortable by expressing their feelings by hugging and expressing their emotions to the deceased’s family. They tend to feel comfortable going to the funeral home or memorial services as they can relate with the emotional aspect of people grieving, hugging and crying. This also helps them because when they are grieving they need attention too. Since the Sanguine wants to be in Control, they may also tend to feel anger towards the deceased because they did not give them permission to leave them (die). They may even feel rejected by the deceased. HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THE SANGUINE YOUTH IN AFFECTION MOVE THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS? They first need to be aware that even though they themselves are grieving, their youth will also be grieving. They can share with the Sanguine youth in Affection that they, the parents, are also grieving and that is okay to grieve and that grieving is not a sign of weakness, they need to share with them that it is “okay” to grieve; as it is a normal emotion. The parents can also help the Sanguine youth in Affection by being there for them as they tend to need to have someone to talk to in order for them to process their thoughts and deal with their anger. This is because when a deep relationship dies, they have lost control of the relationship as they did not give them permission to die. The Sanguine youth tends to need “a shoulder to cry on” to bounce off their thoughts and have a good cry; they do not want others to talk, they tend to want them to listen and give them hugs. Having a person that will listen and give them hugs will help them deal with their loss. They can also make an appointment with one of our temperament counselors for their youth. The temperament counselor will then generate an APS report on the youth and counsel them according to their temperament. CONCLUSION It is so important that the parents become aware of the fact that their Sanguine youth in Inclusion, Control and/or Affection will need to go through the grieving process when they lose a close friend or relative. If they are not helped through the grieving process they may get stuck in the anger stage of grief. They may even carry this anger throughout their life and blaming God for taking their friend or loved one. SCRIPTURES FOR THE SANGUINE YOUTH IN INCLUSION, CONTROL, AND AFFECTION Matthew 5:4: “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” Ephesians 4: 26: “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Ephesians 4: 31-32: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” II Corinthians 1;3-4: “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, The Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort: Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted by God.” I Thessalonians 5:11: “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also you do.”

You'll Get Through This by Max Lucado We all fear that the depression will never lift, the disappointment will never stop, the pain will never leave. Here in the pits, surrounded by steep walls, we wonder if our gray skies will ever brighten. Though these unprecedented and challenging times may bring a load of uncertainty and fear that feels too heavy to bear, God gives us this promise: You'll Get Through This. In You'll Get Through This, pastor and New York Times bestselling author Max Lucado traces the story of Joseph as told in the book of Genesis. The Bible tells us that Joseph was tossed into a pit by his brothers, sold into slavery, wrongfully imprisoned, forgotten and dismissed. Yet Joseph's story is proof that we can flourish even in this broken world. On his darkest days, Joseph may have thought that the sun would never shine again, but God ultimately used these hardships for a greater purpose. Whether you find yourself in the pit of financial downturn, job loss, health crisis, or relationship stresses, God has a plan and a path forward designed just for you. Max reminds readers God doesn't promise that getting through trials will be quick or painless, but he does use our mess for good. In this book, Max will help you: Find comfort in the knowledge that you are God's child and God cares deeply for you Remember that God is near you and has never left you Look for hope in each hardship that you face Lean on your loving community in challenging times Take courage that God will restore even the most painful circumstances and use them for good Each copy of You'll Get Through This includes thoughtful questions for reflection designed to give you a chance to dive deeper into the hard yet hopeful story of Joseph's perseverance. With the compassion of a pastor, the heart of a storyteller, and the joy of one who has seen what God can do, Max explores the story of Joseph and the truth of Genesis 50:20: what Satan intends for evil, God redeems for good.

Emmaus Center Christian Counseling A NCCA Certified Academic Institution Rev. Dr. Brett & Pam Travis Knoxville, TN Fr. Brett and Pam founded the Emmaus Center and School for Ministry a Certified Academic Institution (CAI) in January of 2013. The ministry has been so successful that it has trained five masters-level priests for the Dioceses of the Mid-South with offices in Georgia and Tennessee. Emmaus Center started a church plant in July 2014 and broke ground for its new building in July 2023 called Emmaus Abbey Church, Knoxville. This new community of believers are a part of the independent Charismatic Episcopal Church of North America (CECNA). Dr. Travis holds a PhD in Christian Clinical Psychology. Doctoral degree in Pastoral Theology, Fuller Theological Seminary, Master of Divinity degree from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Master’s degree in Clinical Counseling, Liberty University, Bachelor’s degree in General Studies, University of Kentucky. He is the Rector for Emmaus Abbey Church, Knoxville and Canon Missioner for Mid-South Dioceses for state of Tennessee. Pam holds AAS/RN degree from Kentucky State University, a bachelor’s counseling from Cornerstone University. She is a retired registered psychiatric nurse has advanced certifications in Child & Adolescent Therapy and Crisis & Abuse Therapy and serves as our parish nurse and provides counseling for women and children. She will complete her masters in September 2023. Both have over 40 years of missionary service having served all over the world Brett served 37 years in the U.S. Military. He spent 13 years as a Medical Service Corps officer and 24 years as an Army Chaplain and priest serving at the highest levels of military leadership. He served as USCENTCOM and USSOCCENT Command chaplain, NATO Command chaplain, 25th Infantry Division, Hawaii, 2d ACR Regiment, and his last assignment as the Deputy Hospital Command chaplain and senior clinician, Behavioral Mental Health chaplain, Madigan Army Medical Center, Tacoma, WA. His overseas assignments served in Iraq, Germany, Belgium, Spain, Italy, Portugal, and Honduras. He retired as Lieutenant Colonel in 2008. Dr. Travis is the Executive Director and Clinical Supervisor for Emmaus Center Christian Counseling and School for Ministry (ECSM) and oversees four trained N.C.C.A. counselors and two N.C.C.A. counselors -in-training (CIT). Brett is an NCCA diplomate, has advanced certifications in Marriage and Family Therapy, individual and couple counseling. He holds extensive training in many other areas of individual and family counseling. How the NCCA helped birth a Charismatic Episcopal Church plant. Upon leaving a 37-year career in the military most folks would say, “well, let’s retire and live on the lake.” I was tired of a hard 24 years of chaplain ministry, traveling and war! I asked the Lord to just allow me to sit, soak, and sour, ha! Nope, he was not going to settle for my slothful thoughts on ministry. After a few months of resting, praying, and seeking God. I happened into an old bookstore. I love to read. The road to Emmaus… I was combing through several books and this big ole blue book would not stay on the shelf. I would grab a book and then this big ole book would fall to the floor every time. Not realizing the parable… It was God’s seed for me to plant. Finally, I was ready to stuff this thing so far back on the shelf where the sun would not shine. But before I could put it back for the last time. My eye caught the title… “Creation Therapy.” So, I was curious and opened the book and began reading how God uniquely created each of us. I continued to read and after a while my eyes were opened into a new world for ministry. I realized the bookstore was closing. So, I purchased the book. I continued to read the book and began investigating the Sarasota Academy for Christian Counseling (SACC). They gave me a name of a CAI in my area and the rest is history. More so, if I had never picked up the “Creation Therapy” book, we would not be having this conversation. God has a plan and a mission for every one of us. The moral of the story is at 56 years old none of us are designed for retirement. So, what is the rest of the story? Well, I completed my NCCA training in Marriage & Family Therapy in 2011. I then asked God where do we go from here. One thing led to another. Once the local churches heard about what we were doing I began net- working churches and the ministry took off. By 2014 some folks who were coming for counseling were requesting healing for their infirmities. They wanted to know if we provided healing services. The next phase was providing the ministry of healing for our clients. Before I realized it, I was remodeling our 1500 square foot garage to provide for a proprietary chapel for Sunday morning and Wednesday evening healing services. I no longer had a man cave for my Harley and Pam’s boat. Today, Emmaus is breaking ground to build a new church here in Knoxville, TN. What is the rest of the story? Because of one seed…God has ordained many for the harvest of “the least, the lost and the poor.” The seed in the SACC fell into my hands and my mind. Then it fell into my wife’s mind to germinate. Then into my daughters’ heart, then into our community, our local churches, and new seeds began to grow, the church plant became a full-blown parish and now we are training 8 to 10 priests in the pastoral counseling ministry in Georgia, Tennessee, and Ohio. What is the NCCA? We (NCCA) Counselors are the new apologists, the new evangelists in a culture of Faith “Deconstruction.” God gave Drs. Phyllis and Richard Arno more than thirty-years ago an evangelistic and cultural vision to train a new generation of biblical counselors to stand against a culture of Wokeism! God has prepared the SACC and NCCA leadership to step into the 21st Century with a bold task of evangelism and clinical discipleship. This is the call, to be an Ancient Faith, Reaching a New Generation, Living in Holy Communion! To learn more, see: Emmaus Abbey Church site: www.emmausabbeychurch.org The seed germinated! Emmaus Center for Christian Counseling was birthed in Knoxville in 2012 through NCCA vision. The NCCA vision to put counselors in every city in the Nation has grown yearly since they began their school. The Emmaus Center for Christian Counseling is a product of the NCCA training counselors, supervisors and CAI directors. CAI generate Christian counselors, pastors, teachers and even church plants. Emmaus Abbey Church was birthed in 2014 through that NCCA seed which birthed a new generation of believers to build Emmaus church in 2014, then the resources of that seed from the church birthed a School for healing and training other pastoral counselors for the ministry. Now in 2023, the Emmaus Ministries are building a new church in Knoxville, TN all because of a Jeremiah vision from Richard and Phyllis Arno. Our church is more than a building. It is a re-generation center for reaching and winning souls for Christ and training souls for Christ. Emmaus ministries have grown and multiplied several times. We can now disciple and multiply the NCCA vision they started over thirty years ago and we are excited to continue that calling of training ministers to counsel and evangelize our cities. The Emmaus vision: An Ancient Faith, Reaching a New Generation, Living in Holy Communion has come Alive! Praise God, we are growing and the eyes of the community will see God through Us! Who are we? Emmaus Abbey and its ministries are a three streams ministry. This means we are sacramental, evangelical, and charismatic. This drives our ministry. Our first goal is to start within our Communion in the Charismatic Episcopal Church of North America to train as many CEC priests as Christian counselors and soul winners. We mainly see our ministry of training priests for licensure within the Dioceses of The Charismatic Episcopal Church of North America. Our calling should be counselors of transformation helping God’s people through daily sanctification. Our mission is anointed by God. We see it daily as God sends his people to us. We continue to find ourselves helping and training folks from all walks of life. As we walk with those God sends, we walk with them until they see their eyes opened by the Holy Spirit. Visit us @ www.emmauschristiancounseling.org 30 Now it came to pass, as He sat at the table with them, that He took bread, blessed, and broke it, and gave it to them. 31 Then their eyes were opened and they knew Him; and He vanished from their sight. 32 And they said to one another, “Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?” NCCA Annual Conference October 20th & 21st Come join the NCCA family for a time of fellowship, worship, and renewal this year in Memphis. Dr. Travis will present two sessions speaking on “Counseling in a Season of Faith Deconstruction” See ya there, Fr. Brett!

We are thrilled to announce that Drs. Richard and Phyllis Arno will be joining us for two sessions at NCCA's 2023 conference. Dr. Phyllis usually presents a deep dive into a particular area and temperament, but she has received a different leading this year. In her session, she will be speaking about living with faith vs. living in fear. In their second session, Dr. Richard will join her, and well…we can't tell you what will happen because we don't get editing rights on Dr. Richard’s notes beforehand. You have been warned! The conference will take place in Memphis, TN, on October 20-21, 2023. Whether you prefer to attend in person or online, you can still register to secure your spot. Join us for two days of instruction, fellowship, and growth as we seek to advance our collective mission. Thank you for your support of NCCA and the APS. We look forward to seeing you soon!

THE IMPORTANCE OF HELPING PARENTS BECOME AWARE OF THE NEED FOR THEIR PHLEGMATIC YOUTH TO GO THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS OVER THE LOSS OF A SURFACE AND/OR DEEP RELATIONSHIP. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This includes teaching them about death and dying. Since COVID-19 struck in 2020 all over the world, the youth, as well as adults, have been deeply affected by the deaths that have occurred, such as the loss of parents, grandparents, and friends. Sometimes parents can become so engulfed in their own grief over the death of a spouse, parent, or friend that they do not realize their children are also grieving. Now, more than ever, we, as Christian counselors, need to help the parents to become aware of the fact that when there is a death in the family or of a close friend, their youth will also be grieving. The parents must also understand that if they have several youths, each youth will handle their grief differently, as they will usually have a different temperament. Webster II defines grief as “Deep sadness as that caused by bereavement.” The Five Steps to Grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. If the Phlegmatic youth does not receive help understanding and moving through the grieving process, they may become stuck in the anger stage. This anger can be directed toward God, their parents, and/or others. We will review the Inclusion, Control, and Affection areas of the Phlegmatic youth. PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN INCLUSION REVIEWING GODLY WAYS, PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN INCLUSION WORK THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS. Brief description of some of the tendencies of the Phlegmatic youth in Inclusion: Perfectionistic, calm, slow-paced—nothing seems to bother them, capable of doing tedious tasks, efficient, stubborn, unwilling to become involved, would rather observe than participate, fearful of people draining their energy, uses their dry humor as a defense mechanism—at times, this humor can be hurtful. Regarding the death of a relationship, the Phlegmatic youth may tend not to express their thoughts about the death; however, since they are deep thinkers, they are probably grieving their loss inwardly. Also, they tend not to shed tears. Since they are task-oriented, they may appear to go about their daily tasks without outwardly expressing grief for this person. They tend not to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts as they are private people. Also, it is difficult to “read” a Phlegmatic as they can mask what they are thinking. They tend to feel uncomfortable going to the funeral home or memorial services as they can’t relate to the emotional aspect of people talking, grieving, hugging, and crying. They do not know how to comfort them as they are hurting themselves, therefore, they tend to feel more comfortable doing tasks for the deceased’s family. And, since they are deep thinkers, they instinctively know what needs to be done. Since the Phlegmatic youth in Inclusion tends not to share their thoughts, they may also harbor anger towards the deceased because they did not want to lose them. HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THE PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN INCLUSION MOVE THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS? FIRST: They need to be aware that they themselves are grieving and that their youth will also be grieving. SECOND: They should share with their youth that they are grieving and that it is okay to grieve. Grieving is a normal emotion, and it is not a sign of weakness. THIRD: They need to be aware of the depth of the Phlegmatic youth’s grief. They can do this by initiating a conversation and encouraging them to open up and share their thoughts. FOURTH: They need to also understand that this Phlegmatic youth is a deep thinker and may not want to discuss the loss as they do not want to expend the energy and they really do not want others to know their deep thoughts; therefore, they need to have someone to talk to in order for them to process their thoughts and deal with their anger. FIFTH: They need to know that they can also make an appointment with one of our temperament counselors for their youth. The temperament counselor will then generate an APS report on the youth and counsel them according to their temperament. PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN CONTROL REVIEWING GODLY WAYS, PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN CONTROL WORK THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS. Brief description of some of the tendencies of the Phlegmatic youth in Control: Natural negotiator, difficult to motivate, procrastinator, stubborn to change, will take the path of least resistance, peacemaker, has dry humor, diplomatic, takes the path of least resistance, and has low energy. Regarding the death of a relationship in the Control area, the Phlegmatic youth may tend to show little or no emotion as they are very private people. Also, they do not like to be controlled, and they may feel controlled when their friend or loved one died. The Phlegmatic tends to have low energy, and they do not let circumstances upset them. They may have a calming effect on those around them and should become more involved with friends and family to let them know that they really do care. They tend to be stubborn to change, and when a friend dies it is difficult to accept. They are practical and peace-loving. They will take the path of least resistance by not wanting to talk about their loss until they have had time to deal with it in their own way. They may also harbor anger toward the deceased because they did not want to lose them. HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THE PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN CONTROL MOVE THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS? FIRST: They first need to be aware that even though they themselves are grieving, their youth will also be grieving. SECOND: They can share with the youth that they, the parents, are also grieving and that is okay to grieve, and that grieving is not a sign of weakness. Therefore, they need to share with them that it is okay to grieve, as it is a normal emotion. THIRD: They need to be aware of the depth of the Phlegmatic youth’s grief. They can do this by initiating a conversation and encouraging them to open up and share their thoughts. FOURTH: They need to also understand that this Phlegmatic youth tends to be slow-paced and stubbornly resistant to change. They need time to adjust to the loss. They may be angry at the deceased for dying and leaving them. In other words, the Phlegmatic youth tends to need time to process the death. FIFTH: They can also make them an appointment with one of our temperament counselors for their youth. The temperament counselor will then generate an APS report on the youth and counsel them according to their temperament. PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN AFFECTION REVIEWING GODLY WAYS PARENTS CAN HELP THEIR PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN AFFECTION WORK THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS. Brief description of some of the tendencies of the Phlegmatic youth in Affection: Unemotional, unexpressive, observers in deep relationships, easy going, calm, protective of their low energy, uses humor to keep deep relationships from draining their energy. Regarding the death of a relationship in the deep Affection area, the Phlegmatic youth may tend to show little or no emotion as they are task-oriented and do not express love and affection the same as a relationship-oriented person does. They also tend to be unemotional, as they feel that showing emotions may take too much energy, and they do not want to expose their deep feelings. Therefore, they do not express their emotions. They may tend to become angry at the deceased for leaving them. This is because they tend to feel that it takes too much energy to start up another relationship--they may even pull away from people even more. They tend to feel uncomfortable going to the funeral home or memorial services as they can’t relate to the emotional aspect of people grieving, hugging, and crying. They tend to feel more comfortable doing tasks for the deceased’s family. HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THE PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN AFFECTION MOVE THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS? FIRST: They first need to be aware that even though they themselves are grieving, their youth will also be grieving. SECOND: They can share with the youth that they, the parents, are also grieving and that it is okay to grieve, and that grieving is not a sign of weakness. Therefore, they need to share with them that it is okay to grieve, as it is a normal emotion. THIRD: They need to understand that this youth has deep, tender feelings but tends not to expose these feelings as they prefer doing tasks for their deep relationships. FOURTH: They need to be aware of the depth of the youth’s grief and that when they lose a deep relationship, they tend to mourn their loss inwardly. They may even become angry at God for their loss. Parents really need to try to get the youth to open up and talk with them in order to find out how they are reacting to this loss and who they are blaming for the loss. FIFTH: They can also make an appointment with one of our temperament counselors for their youth. The temperament counselor will then generate an APS report on the youth and counsel them according to their temperament. CONCLUSION It is so important that the parents become aware of the fact that their Phlegmatic youth in Inclusion, Control and/or Affection will need to go through the grieving process when they lose a close friend or relative. If they are not helped through the grieving process they may get stuck in the anger stage of grief. They may even carry this anger throughout their life and blame God for taking their friend or loved one. SCRIPTURES FOR THE PHLEGMATIC YOUTH IN INCLUSION, CONTROL, AND AFFECTION Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” Philippians 4: 7 “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” II Thessalonians 2:16-17 “Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace comfort your hearts and stablish you in every good word and work.” Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and ager, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God hath forgiven you.”

We are thrilled to announce that Dr. Brett Travis will be joining us as a speaker for NCCA's 2023 conference. Dr. Brett will be speaking about faith deconstruction and how as counselors, we can be ready to help those who are struggling with their faith in addition to any issues they may be facing. To hear directly from Dr. Travis, click the link below. We're confident that you'll be excited to hear more from him in October. The conference will take place in Memphis, TN, on October 20-21, 2023. Whether you prefer to attend in person or online, you can still register to secure your spot. Join us for two days of instruction, fellowship, and growth as we seek to advance our collective mission. Thank you for your support of NCCA and the APS. We look forward to seeing you soon! If you want to register for the conference, in-person or virtually, click the button to secure your spot! Want to learn more about our speakers? Click the button to read more about those speaking at this year's 2023 conference!

Brain Retrain by Dr Karen R. Liddell Anxiety, Depression, Chronic Illness, Traumatic Memories, Poverty, and Stubborn Weight are in complete opposition to God and His will for your life. “Beloved friend, I pray that you are prospering in every way and that you continually enjoy good health, just as your soul (your mind and emotions) is prospering. (3 John 1:2 TPT) If you want to be transformed emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially, you've got to do your part and renew your mind. How? By taking every thought, emotion and belief captive and retrain them to obey Jesus Christ. This is how we renew our minds! (Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:5) In this book, you will understand exactly: How-to dismantle your emotional and mental defenses against trusting God’s blessings are for you. How-to demolish every deceptive fantasy of thought and imagination that opposes God’s blessings for you. How-to get breakthrough from every arrogant attitude and false belief that defies the true knowledge of God’s love for you. How-to capture every thought and retrain it so it obeys Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 10:4-5) I want to teach you exactly how to get out of your own way. Consider how Jesus faced such intense opposition from sinners who opposed their own souls, who were their own stumbling blocks.” (Hebrews 12:3a) Brain Retrain is for anyone who wants to experience the life of power, joy, abundance, and love that God intended for us through our relationship with Jesus Christ. This is for anyone willing to exchange their self-limiting patterns of thoughts, beliefs and behavior for new responses that create, and allow you to receive abundance in every area of life. It’s for people like you and me who are excited about replacing negative and disempowering beliefs with those that are not only positive but rooted in Truth! It’s for those who want to experience every promise we’ve read in the Word of God. It’s for those who want to feel loved, valued, protected, blessed, and then inspired to act on that wisdom.