This account of Nehemiah from the Bible has always encouraged me. Here is a man in captivity who asked for permission from King Artaxerxes to leave that captivity and go rebuild the city of Jerusalem in Judah where his ancestors were buried. The King agreed to all of his requests and gave him royal support. When he got to his city in ruins, Nehemiah was continually confronted by messengers with false accusations and schemes by the Horonites, the Ammonites and surrounding nations. Here’s one of their false accusations: "It is reported among the nations that you and the Jews are planning to rebel; therefore you are rebuilding the wall. And you are to be their king, according to these reports”.(Neh. 2:6) (Go ahead and read all of Nehemiah 2) Have you ever been confronted or intimidated by someone for wanting to do something that God told you to do? Well... Here is Nehemiah’s response to the harassment or “fake news” about what he was doing: "Such things as you are saying have not been done, but you are inventing them in your own mind." For all of them were [trying] to frighten us, thinking, "They will become discouraged with the work and it will not be done. But now, [O God,] strengthen my hands”. (Neh. 2:8-9) Don’t let yourself be discouraged by the naysayers that would try to steal your vision or undermine your calling. Rather, be encouraged by this and pray boldly as Nehemiah prayed, “But now [O God] strengthen my hands”.

On A Personal Note…. I will never forget the words that I heard the Lord speak after I came out of a coma which resulted from a deadly brain disease. It happened on 3 west - a wing in the Duke University Medical Center - a wing where they transferred patients whose diagnosis was grim and whose prognosis was death. They transferred me there so I could be made as comfortable as possible until death would finally come. No hope, no hope at all. I was 30 (now 78). Well, hold on! There was hope! There is something called Divine healing! That is what came to me instead of death - Divine healing! After I awoke, He spoke to me saying: “My son, I will be calling many of My children into the ‘Ministry of Counseling’ and I want you to train all that I send to you.” Ministry of Counseling? What is that? I was a Senior United Methodist Pastor but I never heard of that before! Wow! To my knowledge, up to that time (January, 1973), no one ever heard of a ministry called the “Ministry of Counseling.” I believe with all my heart that God Himself titled it that. And, the proof is that, in fact, He has sent thousands and thousands of people, from all over the World, to us to be trained for this specific ministry. I remember falling into great temptation shortly after He provided us with the “key” to helping people through counseling (Temperament Theory, Temperament Therapy, a/k/a Creation Therapy and the APS). This model (technique) REALLY worked! Broken marriages were being restored, depression was being thwarted, and relationship problems were being resolved! The temptation came in the way of a promise of untold wealth and fame! If I would only take Jesus out of this, I could sell it to the secular therapists and be a multi-millionaire! I could be another Sigmund Freud or Carl Rogers! Then I asked the Lord what He thought about that. I reasoned with Him and with my wife, Dr. Phyllis, that, after all, in the long run, tens of thousands more people would be helped to resolve their problems if the “whole” World (secular therapists) could be trained to use this technique! If we keep such a precious gift in the Church and under the control of Christians; not as many people will get the help they need! With patience and gentleness, He explained that this is exactly what He wanted! He wanted to give His Church something special, something unique, something that really worked! Something that the world didn’t have! He wanted the world to know that it is the Christians who have the answer to their problems! It is the Christians who can REALLY help them - not the Sigmund Freud “clones” whose therapeutic techniques are just a “sounding brass or tinkling cymbal.” He was very clear: “If people want help in these last days, they are going to have to turn to the Church and the army of “Ministers of Counseling” whom He has HAND CHOSEN. You, my friend, are counted in this number. I am honored to be in His service and to be your servant. Richard G. Arno, Ph.D. Co-Founder, N.C.C.A. & S.A.C.C.

Head to Heart Restoration Ministry An NCCA Certified Academic Institution Head to Heart Restoration Ministry has been a Certified Academic Institution since November, 2008. Dr. Jones has been affiliated with the N.C.C.A. since May, 2005. He is a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor—Advanced Certified. The mission of Head to Heart Restoration Ministry is to bring emotional and spiritual wholeness to wounded and broken people through the power of Jesus Christ. Currently, there are four counselors ministering in Round Rock, TX, a suburb of Austin. One of Head to Heart Restoration Ministry’s commitments is to raise up counselors to serve the community in and outside of the central Texas area. All of the Head to Heart counselors were students of Dr. Jones. The CAI program within Head to Heart utilizes the NCCA courses and the APS as the foundation for training students. In addition to the NCCA courses, Dr. Jones teaches interested students prayer ministry and inner healing techniques to help counselees receive deeper healing for damaged emotions, liberty from the past, and freedom from bondages. He hopes to one day develop an inner/emotional healing training manual for counselors and ministers. One of the most common problems counselees deal with is rejection. Rejection is the real or perceived denial of love. Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines rejection as, “the act of throwing away something as useless; casting off; refusing to accept, to disapprove.” Rejection tells us we are unwanted, put aside, and refused. It’s a feeling of being unloved and not accepted by an individual, group, or society or even by ourselves. Rejection reminds us of our desperate need to be loved, and at the same time, we’re convinced we’re unloved. Rejection drives love from us and drives us from love. Even when someone does love us, we still feel rejected. The Roots of Rejection The roots of rejection are a tangled mess with four identifiable causes. First, is fear of rejection. Rejection by itself is tough enough, put when coupled with fear of rejection it becomes even more powerful. The fear itself produces more rejection. Second, is self-rejection. Self-rejection tells you that even you know you don’t measure up. Self-rejection often results in an intense and sometimes irrational drive to succeed. The third root of rejection is rejecting others. You are quick to reject others before they can reject you. You are protecting yourself from the hurt of future rejection. You fear becoming open, transparent or vulnerable to others. You have a hard time trusting others. The fourth root is the desire for rejection. You set yourself up for rejection by treating others poorly or with indifference. As a result, when rejection occurs, it reinforces your lack of self-worth and lack of identity. Reasons for Rejection The enemy looks for ways to make us feel and believe we are rejected. I believe he forms a strategy at conception to find an inroad for rejection. It is proven that a child in the womb is already alert to the feelings, words and actions of the mother. A mother that is filled with fear, will give birth to a baby that will be fearful. The same with rejection. It can be picked up in the womb. Some babies are rejected in the womb because the parents believe the baby is conceived too soon after marriage, they did not want any more children, the have fear (pain of childbirth, complications in pregnancy, fear the child will have problems), the baby is the wrong sex preference, etc. Later in life, you can pick up rejection by being a victim of abuse, peer rejection, separation and divorce, death of a loved one, and a wide range of other life issues. Reactions to Rejection When rejection occurs, some sort of reaction to the response is required. Forgiveness of the offending person is the only scriptural response acceptable to God. God has commanded you to forgive others. There are many ungodly reactions to rejection: rebellion, self-pity, escapism, unhealthy guilt or shame, distrust and hardness towards God and others. Readjustment to Rejection Once the wounds of rejection have occurred, and you react, you seek ways to readjust to relieve the hurts and to find ways to satisfy the love needs in your life. One of the most common readjustments is perfectionism. I believe that perfectionism is of the enemy because it is a fear of failure. God desires excellence. Excellence is the urge for success. It is the commitment to do something exceptionally well. Other readjustments are false compassion and false responsibility, material and sexual lust, self-promotion, suppression, attention-getting behaviors and controlling others. Remedy for Rejection Jeremiah 30:17 For I will restore health to you, and I will heal your wounds, says the Lord, because they have called you an outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no one seeks after and for whom no one cares! God has given an absolute promise of deliverance and healing from rejection. There are certain conditions for the healing of rejection: be teachable, forgive, repent, be reconciled, stabilize in God’s love, and stabilize in human love. The wound of rejection causes deep sorrow. Proverbs 15:13 says, “By sorrow of heart the spirit is broken (wounded).” Ask and receive God’s comfort and healing from the wounds of rejection. You have to give God permission to dismantle the wall you have built that prevents you from allowing others (including God) into your life. Self-preservation is a prison. You can’t get out and no one can get in. You have built the prison brick by brick and it has to come down. You also have to release forgiveness to yourself, to others and possibly to God for the rejection you have received, regardless if it is real or perceived. Each link of the chain represents a wound, a person or a time in which you were hurt by rejection. The chains have you in bondage. As long as you are carrying the chains you will never be free. Praise God, Jesus took the keys to hell, death and the grave, including your rejection. If you are holding on to the chains in your life, you are holding chains without locks and keys. You have to let the chains go to be healed and free. Isaiah 62:2-5 NIV and MSG “The nations will see your vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No more will anyone call you Rejected, and your country will no more be called Ruined. You’ll be called Hephzibah (My Delight), and your land Beulah (Married), Because God delights in you and your land will be like a wedding celebration. As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” You can be healed and delivered from rejection. The journey begins by acknowledging it and then beginning to unravel its tentacles. You are greatly loved, accepted and forgiven.

By: Dr. Linda R. Jordan The Metamorphosis of My life, was full of fear, hurt, shame, pain, resentments, ups and downs and plenty of surprises that started at the ages of 15 1/2 going on a date with an adult guy at that age. As a teengirl I felt that meant being independent that I was grown and didn’t need to report to anyone. I soon found out that by sharing with an adult my daily plans or life goals, can keep me protective from any invader who could steal or cause damage to me or some of my dreams in my future goals.

1. He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. 3. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. 4. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. 5. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; 6. Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. 7. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. 8. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. 9. Because thou has made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; 10. There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. 11. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. 12. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. 13. Thou shalt tred upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. 14. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. 15. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. 16. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. FEAR FEAR IS A BIG BULLY AND PREYS ON ALL OF THE TEMPERAMENTS! Fear can keep us locked up in a prison of darkness. But YOU have the key to get out of this prison of darkness. The key is Jesus! We need to trust that Jesus will get rid of the bully. How? Jesus is the Light of the World, and the darkness has to run from Him. And Jesus always keeps His Word. For example, take a flashlight and shine the light in a dark place and see what happens—the darkness disappears! The same thing will happen with our fears because Jesus is our Light—our fears will disappear! The Holy Scriptures tell us: “Fear not.” It is in our Bible over 70 times and tells us that God is always here for us; however, sometimes, when we are going through the valleys, we tend to let fear creep in and take over. Encouraging Scriptures regarding fear: Isaiah 41:10: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Joshua 1:5: “I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Psalm 23:4, 5: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 27:1: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?” Psalm 56:11: “In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.” Hebrews 13:6: “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” I John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS IN THE INCLUSION AREA OF THE SANGUINE AND SHINE THE LIGHT OF JESUS ON THEM. In review, Inclusion is the need to establish and maintain satisfactory relationships with people in the area of surface relationships. (This includes association and socialization.) It also encompasses a person’s intellectual energies. 1. FEAR OF REJECTION Sanguines in Inclusion tend to have a fear of rejection and will tend to say and do things that they know they should not be saying and doing. In other words, they will “go along with the crowd.” If the crowd is drinking, they will drink; if the crowd is smoking pot, they will smoke pot, etc. The fear of rejection is a driving force that can lead them to socialize with ungodly people and become involved in ungodly activities. Sanguines in Inclusion need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of rejection and learn that He is always with them. In so doing, they will no longer need to conform to an ungodly crowd to be accepted. Deuteronomy 31:8 tells us: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (NIV). 2. FEAR OF BEING ALONE Sanguines in Inclusion tend to have a fear of being alone. Because of this fear, they may “wear out their welcome” with most of their friends. They will tend to want to go places and spend money just to be around people. They also have a tendency to talk louder, laugh harder, and stay longer than anyone else. They tend to want to socialize into the “wee” hours of the morning, then go home and sleep until noon. The fear of being alone is a driving force that can result in them continually searching for new friends, sometimes in the wrong places. Sanguines in Inclusion need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of being alone because He is their friend and will never leave or forsake them. Matthew 28:20b Jesus tells us: “…and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.”(KJV) 3. FEAR OF DEATH AND DYING OF FRIENDS Sanguines in Inclusion tend to fear the loss of friends through death and dying and tend to not want to talk about it. They like to build relationships, not lose them. This is because they are relationship-oriented and people regenerate them. When a friend dies, Sanguines can become angry, stressed and depressed. They may tend to avoid friends that are terminally ill because of their inability to deal with the fact that they will no longer be there for them. (This is a broken relationship for them.) The fear of death and dying of friends is a driving force that can lead them to seek many relationships in order to lessen their anger, stress and depression because a friend died and left them. Sanguines in Inclusion need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of losing friends through death and dying. I Peter 5:7 tells us: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”(NIV) 4. FEAR OF PAIN Sanguines in Inclusion tend to fear pain and will tend to seek out medical help to alleviate the pain; however, this can be dangerous because they may overmedicate themselves to avoid pain and become addicted. They may become angry and depressed. When this happens, they may come to find that their friends do not want to be around them because, no matter how hard they try, they cannot “lift” the Sanguine up out of their anger and/or depression. The Sanguine does not even like themselves when they are down and moody! They will “swing” up out of their moodiness and depression after they self-indulge and begin to feel worthless. The fear of pain is a driving force that can result in them becoming moody, stressed, irritable, and angry. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of pain because sometimes their fear of pain can be worse than the pain itself. Jeremiah 30:17 tells us: “For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord….” (KJV) CONCLUSION Sanguines in Inclusion need to learn that: 1. God will always be with them and will never reject them. 2. God will always be there for them and they are never alone because He is a friend that “loveth at all times.” (Proverbs 17:17) 3. God will comfort them through their grief; He is just a prayer away. 4. God does not want them to focus on the fear of pain, but rather on Him. PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Sanguine in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order. In the next issue we will look at FEARS in the Inclusion area of the Supine.

1. He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. 3. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. 4. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. 5. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; 6. Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. 7. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. 8. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. 9. Because thou has made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; 10. There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. 11. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. 12. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. 13. Thou shalt tred upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. 14. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. 15. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. 16. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. FEAR FEAR IS A BIG BULLY AND PREYS ON ALL OF THE TEMPERAMENTS! Fear can keep us locked up in a prison of darkness. But YOU have the key to get out of this prison of darkness. The key is Jesus! We need to trust that Jesus will get rid of the bully. How? Jesus is the Light of the World, and the darkness has to run from Him. And Jesus always keeps His Word. For example, take a flashlight and shine the light in a dark place and see what happens—the darkness disappears! The same thing will happen with our fears because Jesus is our Light—our fears will disappear! The Holy Scriptures tell us: “Fear not.” It is in our Bible over 70 times and tells us that God is always here for us; however, sometimes, when we are going through the valleys, we tend to let fear creep in and take over. Encouraging Scriptures regarding fear: Isaiah 41:10: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Joshua 1:5: “I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Psalm 23:4, 5: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 27:1: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?” Psalm 56:11: “In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.” Hebrews 13:6: “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” I John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS IN THE INCLUSION AREA OF THE SUPINE AND SHINE THE LIGHT OF JESUS ON THEM. In review, Inclusion is the need to establish and maintain satisfactory relationships with people in the area of surface relationships. (This includes association and socialization.) It also encompasses a person’s intellectual energies. 1. PERCEIVED FEAR OF SOCIAL REJECTION Supines in Inclusion tend to want and need to be included; however, their perceived fear of rejection keeps them from initiating. They will wait for personal invitations so that they can feel genuinely accepted and wanted. If they do not receive a personal invitation, they will tend to feel they have no value and that they are unwanted. Supines in Inclusion may find ways to receive a personal invitation to social events by doing special things, such as making delicious cakes, pies, and salads that nobody else would take the time to make, teaching Sunday school, singing in the choir, assisting in the nursery, operating the sound systems, creating and donating beautiful floral arrangements, driving church buses or vans, etc. Supines in Inclusion have a servant’s heart and will rarely turn down an opportunity to serve others. Supines in Inclusion need to learn that people cannot read their mind and know that they want to be included; therefore, they need to learn to initiate and express their wants and needs. Supines in Inclusion also need to learn that God created them and that He tells them in the Holy Scriptures not to fear people, for He is always with them. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their perceived fears of social rejection so that they can comfortably interact and fellowship with God’s people. See Isaiah 41:10: “Fear thou not; for I am with the: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” 2. FEAR OF BEING IMPERFECT Supines in Inclusion tend to have a difficult time accepting compliments from others because they can only see their flaws. For example, if someone told them that they look great, they might say: “Thank you, but this outfit is old,” or “I need my hair cut,” or “My shoes need to be polished,” etc. Because of this fear of being imperfect, they tend to believe that they can never measure up to other people’s standards. They tend to feel that people are observing them and can see all their imperfections. Supines in Inclusion need to know in their heart that God created them in His image and that they do not need to feel that they are inferior to others. They need to learn that nobody is perfect and that we are all works in progress. God does the perfecting as we submit to Him. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of imperfection. The key for them is to know their standing with God, and that He will do the perfecting as they submit to Him. See Hebrews 13:20-21: “Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well-pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” 3. FEAR OF CALLING “HURT FEELINGS” ANGER Supines in Inclusion tend to fear admitting that their hurt feelings are internalized anger; therefore, rather than call their anger, “anger,” they tend to call it “hurt feelings.” This is because, to them, saying “My feelings are hurt” is less offensive than saying “I am angry.” Even though they are angry at someone, they do not want to offend them. Supines in Inclusion need to learn to recognize and deal with their internalized anger. They need to learn to say, “I am angry because….” In other words, they need to pull up this anger and submit it to God so they can be free of it. If the Supine in Inclusion does not recognize their internalized anger and submit it to God, they will tend to dwell on this anger and become angrier. As they do so, this internalized anger builds or grows inside of them—it consumes them, and they tend to lose their gentle spirit and servant’s heart; therefore, they need to deal with this internalized anger and submit it to the Lord. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of calling their “hurt feelings” anger and submit this anger to Him so they do not stifle their gentle spirit and servant’s heart. See Ephesians 4:31: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.” 4. FEAR OF DEATH AND DYING Supines in Inclusion tend to fear the death and dying because they tend to feel that they have never done enough to deserve going to Heaven. They will tend to “work themselves to death” for others and still feel that they are unworthy. Supines in Inclusion may also fear death and dying of a friend because they may feel this is rejection and a personal loss when a friend dies. At times, they may even fear that they are responsible for a friend’s death because of something they may have said, done, or thought. This is a Supine tendency to feel responsible for everything that happens. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of death and dying and learn to place their trust in God because He will keep His word. They also need to learn that they are not responsible for someone’s death because of something they may have said, done or thought. See Isaiah 25:8: “He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces….” CONCLUSION Supines in Inclusion need to shine the light of Jesus on their fears and learn that: 1. God wants them to know that He is always with them and He will never leave or forsake them. This means that they do not have to perceive rejection from people. 2. God wants them to know that He knows that we are not perfect; we are all works in progress. He also wants them to know that He will do the perfecting in their lives as they yield to Him. 3. God wants them to recognize that their “hurt feelings” are actually internalized anger. He wants them to pull out these “hurt feelings”— internalized anger— and yield this anger to Him so that they can be set free and so they do not lose their gentle spirit and servant’s heart. 4. God wants them to trust in Him and not fear death and dying, as He is directing their steps and will call them home when He determines their work on earth is completed. He also wants them to learn that they are not responsible for the death of others because of something they may have said, done, or thought. PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Supine in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.

INTRODUCTION SPECIAL NOTES FOR COUNSELING MARRIED COUPLES THAT HAVE “LIKE” TEMPERAMENTS IN THE INCLUSION AREA. By: Dr. Phyllis J. Arno As you know, “opposite” temperaments tend to attract each other because of their differences; however, we find that “like” temperaments can also tend to attract each other. And just like the “opposite” temperaments, the “like” temperaments need to learn to live with each other. The “like” temperaments need to understand their likenesses. In this issue, we will cover a Sanguine married to a Sanguine in the Inclusion area. In review, the Inclusion area is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in the area of surface relationships, association, socialization, and their intellectual energies. The following are some words that describe a Sanguine in Inclusion: friendly relationship-oriented hot-tempered outgoing optimistic upbeat inspiring moody impulsive like sunshine reward oriented fast-paced SANGUINE IN INCLUSION MARRIED TO A SANGUINE IN INCLUSION In the Inclusion area there will be no “opposites attracting” since they are both Sanguines in Inclusion. They will have to learn to work together, not against each other. Both are relationship-oriented and have people skills in this area. Because they both want and need constant attention, they tend to compete with each other to see who can “outtalk” or “outshine” the other. Both will be ready to “go” at a moment’s notice. Their shoes will be at the door. Both will have a difficult time learning how to maintain any kind of balance. When opposites attract, they can balance each other; however, two Sanguines each tend to want to be the center of attention. Both will tend to have a “ball” going through life; however, since they tend to be irresponsible, at times, it may be hard for them to keep their home organized. This is because they will tend to feed on each other’s weaknesses. In other words, when one says, “Let’s go out,” the other will say, “Yes, we will catch up tomorrow with our work.” BOTH PARTIES HAVE THE SAME BASIC NEEDS 1. TO CONSTANTLY INTERACT WITH PEOPLE Both will need to be with people constantly and need to have jobs where they can interact with people. Being with people regenerates them. When they come home from work, they will both want to talk at the same time, to share what has transpired throughout their day. Since they are so eager to share what happened during their day at work, they will probably not hear what their spouse is trying to share with them. Both will tend to want to get out of the house in the evenings, even if they have been out all day working, running errands or attending meetings. Inactivity is very stressful to them. They tend to like to go to restaurants, walk the malls, and go to the grocery store for one item--all in the hopes of being with people. They will talk with people they do not know if there are no friends around. Remember, Sanguines never meet a stranger! When they are out eating and/or shopping, both may tend to want to “drop in” on friends just to say “hello.” They may wind up staying all evening, even if they have to get up early for work the next day. They need to learn to respect the privacy of their friends and call before dropping in on them. Note: Some Sanguines in Inclusion may tell you that they do not want this much interaction. This would probably be due to learned behavior or because of their Control or Affection scores. GUIDELINES FOR HELPING THIS COUPLE They need to learn to commit to listen to each other, and they need to learn that they do not always have to be the center of attention They need to learn to set boundaries regarding “running here and there” and help each other maintain these boundaries. They need to learn to work together taking care of the home, paying the bills, etc. They can make “working together” a time of enjoyment rather than dreading it because they will not be working alone; they will be working with each other. Then, after they work together, they can reward themselves. Their reward could be going to visit friends, shopping, eating dinner out, etc. They need to learn to reward themselves with something that they would both like and enjoy doing. 2. TO INVITE PEOPLE INTO THEIR HOME Both tend to invite people into their home. It usually will not bother them that the house is a mess or that there are no clean cups or glasses. Both tend to like their home a little “messy” because it gives them the feeling of being around people; if the house is too clean, it feels uncomfortable to them. Both tend to want to have friends in their home, and if they have no friends in their home they will both need to have music and/or the television on at all times—even all night—just so they do not feel alone. GUIDELINES FOR HELPING THIS COUPLE They need to agree to work together to clean up their “messy” house before they invite people over for coffee or tea. It is very hard for some of the other temperaments to sit and drink coffee or tea out of cups that are not really clean. They need to learn to communicate with each other so that they do not have 30-40 people over in a home or apartment that will only hold ten people; otherwise, the neighbors may be calling the police on them for disturbing the peace! 3. TO BE ACCEPTED Both tend to have a high fear of rejection. They will tend to say and do things that they know are wrong. Both tend to go along with the crowd in order to be accepted. One spouse could turn to drugs and alcohol, and the other would go along with them in order to be accepted because of their fear of rejection. Both have the tendency to want to be off with friends. However, if one spouse wants to go visit some of his/her friends and the other spouse does not want to see those particular people, they may go without the spouse. This could cause both to feel rejection. One spouse might say, “You did not want to go with me,” while the other spouse might say, “You went without me!” Both have the tendency to become depressed and moody if one spouse goes out without the other. Because they are depressed and moody and feeling rejected, they may then go out on their own--just to get even with their spouse for leaving them “home alone.” GUIDELINES FOR HELPING THIS COUPLE They both need to agree not to reject the other. They can take turns going to where each wants to go. Or, if he wants to go to a ball game and she is not interested, she could go out with a family member or a friend. In other words, work it out so that neither spouse feels rejected. They both need to agree to socialize with people of like morals. If they get in with the wrong crowd, they are headed for trouble. 4. TO CONFRONT They will tend to flare up and confront each other about “little” offenses. Since they are relationship oriented, they cannot stand to have someone upset with them. They MUST know why the other spouse is upset. During the confrontation they can have angry outbursts which may lead to a shouting match; however, it is all over within a matter of minutes—and supposedly forgotten. But, after a time, all this confrontation can become a point of contention because of their fear of rejection. GUIDELINES FOR HELPING THIS COUPLE They both need to learn to confront each other in love, not in outbursts of anger. They both need to learn to respect each other and not just take each other for granted. 5. TO LIVE FOR TODAY Both will live for today; yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. This means that they do not usually plan ahead. If they are invited to go out, they will go, even if they have to wear yesterday’s clothes because they never got around to doing the laundry. Or, they may have dried the clothes but left them in the dryer, and they are all wrinkled. Both have a tendency to spend their money on what Melancholies might call “frivolous” things. They tend to feel there will be more money tomorrow. This type of spending can put them in a financial bind. It is not good for them to go out shopping if money is tight because they will tend to encourage each other to buy. GUIDELINES FOR HELPING THIS COUPLE They both need to learn to plan ahead. If they are going out Friday night, then laundry needs to be done so that they will have fresh clothes to wear. They also need to discipline themselves to do their laundry so that they have fresh, clean clothes for work. They both need to learn to budget their finances and pay their bills on time.It costs a lot more to have the electric, gas and/or telephone reconnected. Than to pay the monthly bill. SETTING BOUNDARIES FOR THIS COUPLE 1. Both have the need to constantly interact with people; however, they must learn to maintain balance and learn to be responsible. If she happens to have dinner ready, he should not just “not come home” because he decided to go to a ball game with the guys. 2. On the other hand, if he is expecting to come home to a nice dinner, she cannot just take off and go shopping because her friend called and asked her to run to the mall. 3. Both have the need to be accepted and tend to want to be the center of attention, and they may say and do things they know will hurt and/or embarrass their spouse. Consideration of their spouse is the key! 4. If they are going to confront, both should learn to do it in love and in consideration of their spouse. They need to ask themselves, “How would I feel?” 5. Both, must learn that they cannot just live for today; they must plan for tomorrow! If they both live for today, their home will be totally disorganized. For as you well know, when tomorrow comes, it now becomes today, and since they tend to just live for today, tomorrow will never come for them, and many things will be left undone—because they will do it “tomorrow.” Maintaining self-discipline is the key! PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling Like Sanguines in Inclusion, you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, birth order, learned behavior, and personality. In the next issue we will look at Counseling Married Couples with Like Temperaments in the Inclusion area of the Supine.

PSALM 91 (KJV) He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou has made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. Thou shalt tred upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. FEAR FEAR IS A BIG BULLY AND PREYS ON ALL OF THE TEMPERAMENTS! Fear can keep us locked up in a prison of darkness. But YOU have the key to get out of this prison of darkness. The key is Jesus! We need to trust that Jesus will get rid of the bully. How? Jesus is the Light of the World, and the darkness has to run from Him. And Jesus always keeps His Word. For example, take a flashlight and shine the light in a dark place and see what happens—the darkness disappears! The same thing will happen with our fears because Jesus is our Light—our fears will disappear! The Holy Scriptures tell us: “Fear not.” It is in our Bible over 70 times and tells us that God is always here for us; however, sometimes, when we are going through the valleys, we tend to let fear creep in and take over. Encouraging Scriptures regarding fear: Isaiah 41:10: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Joshua 1:5: “I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Psalm 23:4, 5: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 27:1: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?” Psalm 56:11: “In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.” Hebrews 13:6: “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” I John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS IN THE INCLUSION AREA OF THE PHLEGMATIC AND SHINE THE LIGHT OF JESUS ON THEM. In review, Inclusion is the need to establish and maintain satisfactory relationships with people in the area of surface relationships. (This includes association and socialization.) It also encompasses a person’s intellectual energies. 1. FEAR OF BEING PRESSURED INTO BECOMING TOO INVOLVED Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to not want to become too involved. At work, they tend to try to keep to themselves so that others will not make demands on them. They will respond when spoken to, but will usually not go and initiate a “conversation at the water cooler.” They may even bring their own water bottle so that they do not have to walk to the water cooler for two reasons: First, they do not want to expend the energy; and second, they do not wish to be drawn into office politics. They would prefer to become “invisible.” Phlegmatics in Inclusion may tend to want to stay home rather than attend church for two reasons: First, they do not want to expend the energy; and second, they do not wish to be drawn into church politics or projects. Phlegmatics in Inclusion must learn to maintain balance in their life daily. Otherwise, they may tend to work only at preserving their energy and may lose touch with life itself, including family and friends. It is important for them to know that they are capable of inspiring others, but, in order to inspire them, they need to be in contact with them. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of becoming too involved and learn that He loves them and wants them to not become weary in well-doing. I Peter 4:10 tells us: “As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.” 2. FEAR OF SOCIALIZING Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to have the fear of socializing because they are physically drained after a day at work and they do not want to spend their evening interacting with people. Spending time with people in the evening may drain them even more. Phlegmatics in Inclusion usually tend to prefer to go straight home and settle down in their easy chair or take a nap before dinner. Then, after dinner, they may tend to prefer to sit at the computer or watch TV rather than go out for the evening. In other words, they are “peopled-out” and their energy is depleted. Sometimes, if they have guests in their home, they may “slip out” or “disappear” and go to bed. Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn to maintain balance in this area, not only for themselves, but for their friends and family. If they do not learn to maintain balance, they may find themselves reserving their energy to the point that they have withdrawn from the world itself. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of socializing. They can learn to do this by maintaining a close relationship with the Lord, so they will have the desire to share God’s love with others. Psalm 34:4 tells us: “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” 3. FEAR OF MAKING CHANGES Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to have the fear of making changes. They do not like to change jobs, change homes, change cars, change churches, etc. For the Phlegmatic in Inclusion it takes too much energy to change jobs, pack and move, purchase a new car, etc. For this reason they may tend to drive their cars until they “fall apart and quit running.” Because they tend to be perfectionist and detail-oriented, Phlegmatics in Inclusion would have a difficult time trying to find the perfect job, the perfect home or the perfect car, so they tend to do nothing at all. Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn to maintain balance in this area, not only for themselves, but for their friends and family. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of making changes so that their life can become less fearful and more peaceful. Isaiah 41:10 tells us: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” 4. FEAR OF PHYSICAL TAXATION Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to have the fear of physical taxation. They prefer not to be around Sanguines and Cholerics too much because they tend to try to control and make demands on them; therefore, the Phlegmatic in Inclusion will usually try to avoid the Sanguines and Cholerics. When they cannot avoid them, they will tend to keep them “at bay” by using their humor. Sometimes this humor is dry, sometimes it is witty and charming, and sometimes it can be cutting, hurtful and harsh. Phlegmatics in Inclusion, because of their low energy level, tend to eat too much and not exercise enough. Therefore, they may tend to have weight problems, which can lead to other physical problems, such as high blood pressure, etc. Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn to maintain balance with work, relaxation, exercise and rest. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of physical taxation so that their life can become less fearful and more peaceful. Isaiah 40:29 tells us: “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength.” 5. FEAR OF OTHERS DYING AND LEAVING THEM WITH THE LOAD (RESPONSIBILITIES) Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to fear being left with the “load” (responsibilities) if their spouse dies. It is hard for them to work all day and then come home and have to carry the load of taking care of the home and children. This is because it takes too much energy, plus time and “know-how.” Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to fear that if a co–worker dies, they must assume more of the workload and/or have to take on the responsibility of training a new person. In either event, they fear it will take too much energy and cause them to be stressed. Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn that God will be with them, no matter what responsibilities they must take on. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of others dying and leaving them with the load (responsibilities) so that their life can become less fearful and more peaceful. Philippians 4:13 tells us: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” CONCLUSION Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to shine the light of Jesus on their fears and learn that: God wants them to maintain balance in this area and to know that He loves them. He does not want them to fear and become weary in well-doing, as they can be such an inspiration to others. God wants them to maintain a close relationship with Him so that they can learn to balance out preserving their energy and socializing in order to fulfill the call God has on their life. God wants them to maintain a close relationship with Him and learn to seek Him when they need to make changes. He will direct their steps to making changes. God wants them to learn to maintain a close relationship with Him so that He can help them to bring balance into their life regarding work, relaxation, exercise and rest. God wants them to learn to maintain a close relationship with Him and know that He will be with them if they lose a loved one, so they do not need to fear death and dying—He is with them always and is there to support and guide them. PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Phlegmatics in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order. In the next issue we will look at FEARS in the Inclusion area of the Sanguine.

Thrusting Against Negative Forces is a well-written journal that encourages everyone that we all can live peacefully and wrapped in love if we build our spiritual character. To take a step back and evaluate your thoughts and write them down, demonstrates a level of accountability and grants the ability to correct your inner flaws. I feel inspired to live a better life than the one I’m currently living simply because I know I am deserving of the great life God has planned for me. I highly recommend this to anyone, as you’ll gain a new perspective to your surroundings and then begin to work on your spiritual fitness. Reading through each page has been like a discovery because I was able to be more aware of certain situations which were mentioned that exist in my own life. This book is extremely relatable and will immediately capture you from the first couple of pages. Even though this has been formatted as a daily spiritual journal, I learned that each day, whether when you first wake up or before going to sleep to give God what troubles us. By doing this exercise, we clear our hearts, soul, and mind from all negative forces and carry on in our lives feeling lightweight. It allows you to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, giving them a level of validation - and that it is important will bring you closer to God. There’s so much that I have taken away from this book and will begin applying this into my life. —Rae C. Bernard, Pacific Book Review For more information or to order this book please click here.

T.E.A.C.H. Academy of Lago Vista, TX has been a CAI since April, 2018. Dr. Keiah P. Ellis is a Licensed Pastoral Counselor. Balance. We all need it. Desperately It’s what keeps our relationships healthy. It’s what keeps our work and family lives seamless. It’s how we get our needs met while also meeting the needs of others. It’s the key ingredient in the recipe of a good life. Jesus taught us about life balance. He spent much quality time with his disciples, but he also stole away for alone, quiet time when His heart needed it. He enjoyed fellowship and camaraderie with the people who needed Him most, but never at the expense of time spent in the presence of His Father. He didn’t tip one way or the other, going from extreme to extreme, moved about by every wind of life's circumstances. He remained in control of His mind and His emotions, and He was firmly anchored in the hands of the Lord and His ability to keep Him. He understood God’s true rest as a mind, body, and spirit experience. He remained balanced in every area of life and godliness. As temperament counselors, we have the unique opportunity to dig down beyond the surface behaviors of our counselees, and to see their needs. We have a direct visual into the places where their lives are not in balance. And with the help of the Holy Spirit, we are able to help them make changes and decisions that will get their needs met in healthy, God-honoring ways and stop self-destructive patterns that keep them off-kilter. What a privilege. At T.E.A.C.H. Academy, I train my students to think this way. Our main goal is to use the tool of the A.P.S. to show our counselees who they are on a core, needs-based level. Understanding the needs that they have creates the scale on which we set their presenting issues. From there, it is easy to see what actions, behaviors, and poor thinking habits are tipping the scales too far one way or the other, and we can specifically address those things. It’s not a shot in the dark. It’s a specific course of action that effectively brings about positive changes in the lives of our counselees, and ultimately, brings them closer to our Lord Jesus. I count it such an honor to have access to the A.P.S. I feel as though I’ve been endowed with a superpower -- x-ray vision. I can clearly look past the behaviors of a person and see what needs they are desperately trying to meet. After all, that is what all behavior is. Everything we do is an attempt, consciously, or, as is often the case with our counselees, unconsciously, to meet some need. Dissecting the results of the A.P.S. with our counselees makes the process of identifying these connections of needs to behaviors so much easier. And we are then able to spend our time in sessions finding ways to honor God in meeting our needs, without having to guess. It simplifies the therapeutic process, and I love simple. In addition to teaching Creation Therapy to future counselors, my C.A.I. also teaches Created in God’s Image classes to introduce laypeople to temperament theory. We host “Temperament Talks” where we talk about all things temperament. This is a great opportunity for students and new counselors to hone their skills in a low-stress environment. I find that the more we talk about temperament, the more we understand, and the more we are able to apply to our own lives and in our counseling sessions. I recently created a program for my students called Back to Basics, and its entire purpose is to help them to grow in confidence in their abilities to use the A.P.S. effectively in their ministries and in their time with their counselees. I came from a corporate educational background, so I also use the A.P.S. to consult with business owners and managers to ensure that they are using their human resources in the best ways possible. We help to make sure that their employees are positioned to work in a healthy balance of enjoyment and responsibility. This year, I hope to expand into the public and private school system to use the A.P.S. to help teachers be more effective in their classroom management, by showing them how to balance meeting the needs of their students without forfeiting meeting their own needs. It has been such a joy, and I look forward to whatever other opportunities the Lord presents to me for using the A.P.S. for His Kingdom and His glory. Life is a delicate balancing act. What an honor to be called of the Lord to help people along the way.

1. He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. 3. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. 4. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. 5. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; 6. Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. 7. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. 8. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. 9. Because thou has made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; 10. There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. 11. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. 12. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. 13. Thou shalt tred upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. 14. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. 15. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. 16. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. FEAR FEAR IS A BIG BULLY AND PREYS ON ALL OF THE TEMPERAMENTS! Fear can keep us locked up in a prison of darkness. But YOU have the key to get out of this prison of darkness. The key is Jesus! We need to trust that Jesus will get rid of the bully. How? Jesus is the Light of the World, and the darkness has to run from Him. And Jesus always keeps His Word. For example, take a flashlight and shine the light in a dark place and see what happens—the darkness disappears! The same thing will happen with our fears because Jesus is our Light—our fears will disappear! The Holy Scriptures tell us: “Fear not.” It is in our Bible over 70 times and tells us that God is always here for us; however, sometimes, when we are going through the valleys, we tend to let fear creep in and take over. Encouraging Scriptures regarding fear: Isaiah 41:10: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Joshua 1:5: “I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Psalm 23:4, 5: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 27:1: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?” Psalm 56:11: “In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.” Hebrews 13:6: “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” I John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS IN THE INCLUSION AREA OF THE PHLEGMATIC AND SHINE THE LIGHT OF JESUS ON THEM. In review, Inclusion is the need to establish and maintain satisfactory relationships with people in the area of surface relationships. (This includes association and socialization.) It also encompasses a person’s intellectual energies. 1. FEAR OF BEING PRESSURED INTO BECOMING TOO INVOLVED Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to not want to become too involved. At work, they tend to try to keep to themselves so that others will not make demands on them. They will respond when spoken to, but will usually not go and initiate a “conversation at the water cooler.” They may even bring their own water bottle so that they do not have to walk to the water cooler for two reasons: First, they do not want to expend the energy; and second, they do not wish to be drawn into office politics. They would prefer to become “invisible.” Phlegmatics in Inclusion may tend to want to stay home rather than attend church for two reasons: First, they do not want to expend the energy; and second, they do not wish to be drawn into church politics or projects. Phlegmatics in Inclusion must learn to maintain balance in their life daily. Otherwise, they may tend to work only at preserving their energy and may lose touch with life itself, including family and friends. It is important for them to know that they are capable of inspiring others, but, in order to inspire them, they need to be in contact with them. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of becoming too involved and learn that He loves them and wants them to not become weary in well-doing. I Peter 4:10 tells us: “As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.” 2. FEAR OF SOCIALIZING Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to have the fear of socializing because they are physically drained after a day at work and they do not want to spend their evening interacting with people. Spending time with people in the evening may drain them even more. Phlegmatics in Inclusion usually tend to prefer to go straight home and settle down in their easy chair or take a nap before dinner. Then, after dinner, they may tend to prefer to sit at the computer or watch TV rather than go out for the evening. In other words, they are “peopled-out” and their energy is depleted. Sometimes, if they have guests in their home, they may “slip out” or “disappear” and go to bed. Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn to maintain balance in this area, not only for themselves, but for their friends and family. If they do not learn to maintain balance, they may find themselves reserving their energy to the point that they have withdrawn from the world itself. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of socializing. They can learn to do this by maintaining a close relationship with the Lord, so they will have the desire to share God’s love with others. Psalm 34:4 tells us: “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” 3. FEAR OF MAKING CHANGES Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to have the fear of making changes. They do not like to change jobs, change homes, change cars, change churches, etc. For the Phlegmatic in Inclusion it takes too much energy to change jobs, pack and move, purchase a new car, etc. For this reason they may tend to drive their cars until they “fall apart and quit running.” Because they tend to be perfectionist and detail-oriented, Phlegmatics in Inclusion would have a difficult time trying to find the perfect job, the perfect home or the perfect car, so they tend to do nothing at all. Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn to maintain balance in this area, not only for themselves, but for their friends and family. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of making changes so that their life can become less fearful and more peaceful. Isaiah 41:10 tells us: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” 4. FEAR OF PHYSICAL TAXATION Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to have the fear of physical taxation. They prefer not to be around Sanguines and Cholerics too much because they tend to try to control and make demands on them; therefore, the Phlegmatic in Inclusion will usually try to avoid the Sanguines and Cholerics. When they cannot avoid them, they will tend to keep them “at bay” by using their humor. Sometimes this humor is dry, sometimes it is witty and charming, and sometimes it can be cutting, hurtful and harsh. Phlegmatics in Inclusion, because of their low energy level, tend to eat too much and not exercise enough. Therefore, they may tend to have weight problems, which can lead to other physical problems, such as high blood pressure, etc. Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn to maintain balance with work, relaxation, exercise and rest. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of physical taxation so that their life can become less fearful and more peaceful. Isaiah 40:29 tells us: “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength.” 5. FEAR OF OTHERS DYING AND LEAVING THEM WITH THE LOAD (RESPONSIBILITIES) Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to fear being left with the “load” (responsibilities) if their spouse dies. It is hard for them to work all day and then come home and have to carry the load of taking care of the home and children. This is because it takes too much energy, plus time and “know-how.” Phlegmatics in Inclusion tend to fear that if a co–worker dies, they must assume more of the workload and/or have to take on the responsibility of training a new person. In either event, they fear it will take too much energy and cause them to be stressed. Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to learn that God will be with them, no matter what responsibilities they must take on. They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fear of others dying and leaving them with the load (responsibilities) so that their life can become less fearful and more peaceful. Philippians 4:13 tells us: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” CONCLUSION Phlegmatics in Inclusion need to shine the light of Jesus on their fears and learn that: 1. God wants them to maintain balance in this area and to know that He loves them. He does not want them to fear and become weary in well-doing, as they can be such an inspiration to others. 2. God wants them to maintain a close relationship with Him so that they can learn to balance out preserving their energy and socializing in order to fulfill the call God has on their life. 3. God wants them to maintain a close relationship with Him and learn to seek Him when they need to make changes. He will direct their steps to making changes. 4. God wants them to learn to maintain a close relationship with Him so that He can help them to bring balance into their life regarding work, relaxation, exercise and rest. 5. God wants them to learn to maintain a close relationship with Him and know that He will be with them if they lose a loved one, so they do not need to fear death and dying—He is with them always and is there to support and guide them. PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Phlegmatics in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order. In the next issue we will look at FEARS in the Inclusion area of the Sanguine.

The Star of Bethlehem shone brightly and lit up the way to guide the wise men to find our Savior, Jesus—the Light of the World. See Matthew 2:1-2: “Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.” John the Baptist was like the Star of Bethlehem shining bright and lighting the way to guide people to Jesus. The Apostle John wrote the following verses describing John the Baptist: We, too, like the Star of Bethlehem, can shine bright and light up the way to guide the lost souls of this world toward Jesus—the Light of the World. Isaiah 60:1: “Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee.” As we are told in the Holy Scriptures, in Bethlehem there was no room in the inn. Luke 2:7: “And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.” We need to ask ourselves: “Do I have room for Jesus this Christmas, or do I allow Him to get lost in the hustle and bustle of the preparations?” “Will I put Him first and let His light shine through me this Christmas to show the world that Jesus lives in me?” Let’s look at how the different temperaments can “shine” the Light of Jesus this Christmas. The Choleric Since God created them to be leaders, they can let their “light” shine by using their abilities to organize Christmas programs, dinners, cantatas, pageants, etc. They need to learn that in order for their “light” to shine they need to work with people rather than trying to just control them. They tend to want things done their way and tend to not want to listen to the input or suggestions of others; therefore, they need to learn to be willing to allow others to offer their input and suggestions and work as a team. They tend to take on too many responsibilities and can become stressed and overwhelmed, and their “light” can become dim and of no effect; therefore, they need to learn to maintain balance during this season by not taking on too many leadership responsibilities in order to keep their “light” shining. The Melancholy Since God created them to be loners and task-oriented, they can let their “light” shine by using their abilities to work behind the scenes setting up sound equipment, building props, painting, baking pies, cookies and cakes for the luncheons, dinners and church bazaars. They also need to learn that in order for their “light” to shine they need to be willing to allow others to work with them on Christmas projects. They tend to take on a project and can become so driven to complete it perfectly that they can become stressed and overwhelmed, and their “light” can become dim and of no effect; therefore, they need to learn to maintain balance during this season so that they do not become stressed by being too perfectionistic and too overwhelmed by their interactions with people. The Phlegmatic Since God created them to be peacemakers and negotiators, they can let their “light” shine by using their abilities to keep the peace and help resolve problems that can arise with those involved in the Christmas events. They tend to be stubborn and dislike being pushed when working on a Christmas project since they are perfectionists and want everything done perfectly! They tend to tire easily and will withdraw when they are pushed because they have low energy, and when this happens, their “light” can become dim and of little effect; therefore, they need to learn to maintain balance between work and rest during this season in order to keep their “light” shining. The Sanguine Since God created them to be relationship-oriented, they can let their “light” shine by using their abilities to bring happiness and excitement to everyone with whom they come in contact. They are like sunshine on a rainy day. They will tend to make everyone feel welcome because they tend to be able to interact with almost everyone. They will tend to want to participate in all of the Christmas festivities and be the center of attention; however, they will tend to wear themselves out running from one event to another. When that happens, their “light” can become very dim and of little effect; therefore, they need to learn to maintain balance by being more selective about the events they choose to attend. The Supine Since God created them with a gentle spirit and a servant’s heart, they can let their “light” shine by using their abilities to serve others. They tend to find it difficult to turn down any invitation to participate in the Christmas festivities. They tend to be willing to prepare food for Christmas luncheons and dinners, set up the tables, decorate them, serve the food, and even clean up afterwards. They will tend to want to participate in every event possible; however, they may deplete their energy and wear themselves out serving and caring for others. When that happens, their “light” can become very dim and of little effect; therefore, they need to learn to maintain balance by learning to decline invitations in order to keep from becoming overwhelmed. As you can see, all the temperaments can “shine” the Light of Jesus this Christmas. Galatians 5:22-23 tells us: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” As we are filled with the Fruit of the Spirit, His light will shine through us. Ephesians 4:32 tells us: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Please know that God wants us to be like the Star of Bethlehem and “shine” brightly in this dark world to guide people to Jesus!