ANDERSONVILLE THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY Andersonville Theological Seminary of Camilla, Georgia has been a Certified Academic Institution since December 18, 1995. At Andersonville Theological Seminary, May is an exciting month since we host graduation for all the graduates that wish to participate. In the Christian Counseling Department, we always look forward to meeting and talking with our students. This past Friday, May 27th, we had the opportunity to do just that for the first time in three years since Covid had prohibited our having a large gathering. Both the graduates and the staff enjoyed it immensely. We had a well-known quartet, Gold City, to entertain the families while the graduates prepared to march in. During the ceremony, the students heard from Dr. Jimmy Hayes, the founder of the school, who inspired them by reminding them not to let troublesome times deter accomplishing their mission. The graduates were then challenged by Dr. James Hayes from the Book of Jude to “contend for the faith which was once delivered to the saints.” The graduates were then awarded their degrees, which was the most exciting time of the service for those who had worked so diligently. For over thirty years, I have been working as a counseling advisor for Andersonville Theological Seminary. At the seminary, one of my jobs is to work with students who are being trained as NCCA counselors. This has been a great experience and has allowed me to get to know many people who have a heart for helping others to enjoy a peaceful and productive life as a child of God. It has been amazing to watch the Lord work in the lives of students as they become better prepared for this mission. One thing I did not know, however, was God’s plan for the future of Andersonville Theological Seminary’s counseling program. He had a very special blessing in mind for us. Approximately one year ago, my daughter-in-law, Michelle let it be known that the Lord was calling her into the ministry of counseling. She had been working in health care for the past thirty years and had a very specialized job that paid well; however, she felt the Lord was calling her to do more. The Lord led her to give up that job and come to work at Andersonville Theological Seminary as my associate and enroll in the NCCA license program through the seminary. Once Michelle made some progress in the NCCA program and started working with clients, she became convinced that the Arno Profile System was a very helpful tool that allows her the following advantages: To have insight into the temperament of the person coming for counseling To determine the proper approach for the client; keeping in mind that my Biblical advice will not change, but my approach can vary greatly according to the temperament of the client Allows me to discuss the client’s strengths, giving us a positive platform that we may build on Allows me to be aware of their weaknesses while being careful not to focus too keenly on these weaknesses; thereby, not giving the client an excuse for negative actions or attitudes Allows me to choose Bible selections that will address both strengths and weaknesses. Michelle has been gifted with a wonderful spirit from the Lord! She meets the client where they are and makes them feel comfortable with making changes that would honor our Savior, Jesus Christ. If you are a student at Andersonville or if you plan to become one, Michelle will be a special encouragement to you since she has so recently taken the classes that you will be taking.

We praise You for Who You are! We worship You for creating us to be made in Your Image to do good works in Christ Jesus, Your Son. Preserve and bless the Arno’s for their love for You, for the saints, for Your people, to equip Your servants that we may comfort the weak and give strength to the weary and broken-hearted. To give the Light of Your Son to the lost and give sight to the blind. Thank you for all You have taught them and all that we are learning by Your merciful kindness. God, I will not fear. I will trust You each step to see me to this position that I believe You have led me to. Lord, give me wisdom, knowledge, understanding, discernment, discretion, fervent charity, bowels of mercies. We know without You we can do nothing. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Anoint me in a way that I am blown away with Your Presence like never before. Secrets belong to You. Thank You for this beautiful secret, the temperament revelation to enable us to see the way you created us. That our strengths and weaknesses are divine. That You know us like no other. That when we see You, we may know that You used us to help another to overcome this evil and cruel world. That not only will we have crowns to cast at Your feet, but that many others will receive crowns to cast there too, for You are worthy! Beloved Saviour…thank You for taking it all for mankind. Your broken body. Your sinless blood. To redeem us in our sufferings! We long for You! We watch for You! But until then, keep us faithful. Keep us true. Renew our minds. Our bodies. Our souls. They are Thine alone. Beautiful Creator, I do not know how this is all going to come to pass as I envision it. I cannot make it all happen. You will have to provide for me, Your servant. You know all the desires of my heart. I trust You with those. Until then, I rejoice in this day that You are by my side. That whatever life holds, You will never leave me nor forsake me. I thank You too Father that Kevin is also still at my side. That is a gift of grace. God cover us all as we serve You another day. This beautiful day! We love You forevermore! By: Patty Albert

Being Human The Human Side of Being a Christian From a Biblical Viewpoint by Nathaniel Anthony D.Min About This Book This manuscript is a work of biblical studies that uses common narratives and teachings from the bible to show that the trials and relationship dynamics that biblical figures faced are the same challenges that we face emotionally and relationally today as Christians and humans. Dr. Anthony has structured his book around a beautiful sentiment, and one that is extremely helpful in biblical counseling: we are all human, and we all face the same trials and struggles emotionally and in relationship with one another. This helps bridge the gap between biblical text and readers’ modern experiences of life, showing how we can learn more about ourselves as humans and give one another grace practically through studying the word. Dr. Anthony has organized his book skillfully, taking the reader through the natural progression of the biblical text with each story, beginning with the Garden of Eden in Genesis and working his way progressively through the rest of the Old Testament and into the New Testament in the remaining chapters. This organization will be extremely helpful for readers, as it will come in a familiar order.

Youth, Temperament, and Stress By: Dr Phyllis J. Arno We are continuing the series titled Youth, Temperament and Stress. In this issue we will review some of the “Stress Triggers” in the Inclusion area of the Sanguine youth. We will specifically cover “stress” in the home and in school. In review, the Inclusion area is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in the area of surface relationships, associations and socialization and intellectual energies. Word Review of the Sanguine Youth in Inclusion extrovert cheerful inspiring upbeat undisciplined people-oriented fast paced friendly sunshine impulsive hot-tempered fear rejection talkative exaggerator extravagant STRESS TRIGGERS – HOME 1. INACTIVITY Because they are people-oriented, this Sanguine in Inclusion youth becomes bored at home alone or with siblings. They usually want to go somewhere and do something. They become moody and depressed if they do not have someone with whom to talk or some place to go. 2. RESPONSIBILITY They tend to not want to do their homework or chores, especially clean up their room. They like their room “messy” because it helps them to feel as if they are not alone. A messy room can be their comfort zone. The parents need to work out a reward system for them in order to motivate them to clean their room, i.e., a trip to the mall, a movie, etc. 3. DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY - PARENTS - DRUGS/ALCOHOL Encourage the parents to seek help in getting off drugs and alcohol. If it is readily available, this youth will tend to turn to drugs and alcohol as a self-indulgence to relieve their stress—and because it sounds exciting and fun and everyone else is doing it! Remember: CHILDREN HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD AT LISTENING TO THEIR ELDERS, BUT THEY HAVE NEVER FAILED TO IMITATE THEM! James Baldwin 4. BLENDED OR SINGLE FAMILY - SIBLING RIVALRY In a single-parent family, where one parent needs to be mom and dad, how can they prevent sibling rivalry? By giving the youth quality time—not necessarily quantity—and also by finding a person the parent can trust to be a mentor of this youth. Enlighten the parents as to how there is a “pecking order” and that when families are blended, there may be two first borns, two last borns, etc., so each youth will be fighting to maintain their position. This can create problems such as anger, jealousy, resentment, etc., and can bring stress to the blended family. Since this youth is a Sanguine in Inclusion, their siblings may feel that this youth is “goofing off” and not helping to do their share of the work. Parents must remember to be open to listen to “all sides” of their disputes. 5. SEXUAL ABUSE - BABYSITTERS, SIBLINGS, RELATIVES, ETC. Teach the parents to encourage the Sanguine in Inclusion youth to come to them with any and all problems they may be encountering. This should not be too difficult because Sanguines like to share; however, if they fear disapproval, they may not be as open to share. Also, the parents should know to whom they are entrusting their children. Parents also need to look for signs such as irritability, overeating, cutting themselves, using drugs, drinking alcohol, etc. Knowing this youth’s temperament is the key to know what questions to ask. You need to let them know that they can tell you anything and that you will not get upset and explode. 6. AVAILABILITY OF ADULT MOVIES, TELEVISION AND THE INTERNET Teach the parents to always know what the Sanguine in Inclusion youth is watching on television and what movies they are seeing. They also need to be aware of what the youth is doing while on the computer. This Sanguine in Inclusion youth needs boundaries. Again, they are usually willing to tell you what they are watching and what they are doing on the Internet. Parents Need to Become Cyber Savvy! ELEMENTARY SCHOOL Learn about parental controls and filtering software. You can use search engines such as safesearchkids.com Teach your kids to never give out their telephone number or address online. MIDDLE SCHOOL Keep the Internet account in your name to control passwords and filtering. Check your children’s Internet browsing history. Allow them to email and instant-message only people they know. Randomly check their emails and “buddy lists.” If your children participate in chats, help them pick screen names that don’t reveal personal information. Take cyber-bullying seriously. If someone posts threatening or dangerous comments about your child, report it to the police and your service provider. House rule: No downloading without your permission. You can set permissions on smartphones to have time limits on certain apps as well as prevent any downloads from happening without a password. Apple iPhone Parental Controls Samsung Galaxy Parental Controls HIGH SCHOOL Teach teens to use caution when posting about their friends and their plans. Make sure your teens’ online photos don’t reveal identifying information, such as their school’s name. Require your child to ask you before meeting an online “friend” in person. If you agree, schedule the meeting in a public place and accompany your teen. If you have more questions about the intricacies of social media platforms, smartphones, and cybersecurity/cyberbullying please click the button below for parental guides. NETWORK KNOW-HOW Social networking sites such as Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and Facebook set minimum ages for participation. Generally, if your children are 13 or younger, you can have their pages removed. Read a site’s Terms of Use carefully for full details. Ask to see your teens’ pages on social networking sites. Go through their feed, following, and saved posts. Have your teens use the privacy settings on social networking sites, but be aware that some information, such as their picture, nickname, age and location may still be available for all users to see. Go through your teens’ “friends” list to make sure they know and trust those people in real life. Consider making your own profile and “friending” your teens to stay informed about what they are posting. Create a permission on their phone to set a limit and time frame they are allowed to be on social media platforms. STRESS TRIGGERS – SCHOOL 1. INABILITY TO PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS The Sanguine in Inclusion youth has a short attention span. It is hard for them to concentrate on doing tasks when they would prefer to be out socializing. Parents need to make sure that the Sanguine in Inclusion gets the rest they need as they could fall asleep in class, or their thoughts can go out the window. 2. HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS Homework is boring. It is a task. Parents need to find a way to reward them for completing their homework and making good grades. The reward should be something they will want to work towards; however, the parents must stick to their agreement for the reward. The Sanguine in Inclusion youth may try to talk their way into receiving the reward without having first completed the work. 3. AVAILABILITY OF DRUGS/ALCOHOL/SEX Encourage the parents to watch for signs of drugs, alcohol and sex. The Sanguine in Inclusion youth, if they are using drugs or drinking alcohol, could become more moody or high-strung. They could also become more irritable than usual and pull away from their family and friends. They might also become slothful and not want to shower or change their clothes. The parents need to teach the youth the consequences of drugs/alcohol/sex. They need to be prepared by having DVDs, CDs or movies to watch with this youth. Seeing is a good teaching tool for the Sanguine in Inclusion, because they can become easily bored with facts. There is a lot of GOOD information on the Internet regarding this. For example: National Institute on Drug Abuse http://www/drugabuse.gov Look for Signs of Sexual Addiction: Frequently telling sexual jokes or making sexual comments or innuendos. Engaging in sexual activity-especially with several partners. Spending considerable time in activities that could lead to sexual activity, such as cruising for potential partners or spending hours online in chat rooms trying to hook up with others. Visiting pornographic websites or looking at pornographic magazines, books, videos. Neglecting obligations such as work, school, or family in pursuit of sexual activity. Continuing to engage in illicit sexual behavior despite the negative consequences related with such activities. Escalating the scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve a desired effect, such as more frequent visits to Web sites or sex with more partners. Frequently isolating themselves from parents and friends and not informing others of their whereabouts. Getting angry if someone shows concerns or questions them about sex or their use of pornography. Feeling irritable when unable to engage in some sort of sexual activity for a long period of time. Making telephone calls with an 800 or 900 prefix. Becoming increasingly dishonest with other people. People who work with sex addicts say that when someone meets 3 or more of the above, that person could possibly have a problem with sexual addiction. For more information on help for troubled youth and adults and for those who minister to them. You can also go to The Missing Link Inc. at http://misslink.org 4. DISAPPROVAL FROM TEACHERS/CLASSMATES Encourage the parents to find out why their children are having problems with their teachers and classmates, especially the bullies. Parents should encourage the youth to express their thoughts, listen and not immediately give their disapproval. 5. BOMB THREATS AND SCHOOL KILLINGS Encourage the parents to discuss disasters at school and teach the Sanguine in Inclusion youth to stay “prayed up,” be aware of their surroundings, etc. In this way, they can learn to face their fears. 6. NEEDING TO GO ALONG WITH THE CROWD The Sanguine in Inclusion youth will go along with the group or crowd or even an individual in order to keep from being rejected. They will absolutely do things they know are wrong. The parents should try to impress upon them the fact that they need to be pleasing God, not classmates. The crowd will leave them; Jesus never will. NOTE: Inactivity and being alone are very stressful for the Sanguine in Inclusion youth. If they do not have an outlet for their stress, they may become moody and angry. They may try to alleviate their stress by overeating. They may also try to find a release by using drugs, sex and alcohol. PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling Sanguine in Inclusion youths, you must take into consideration the following: their walk with the Lord, personality, learned behavior and birth order. We read in the papers, We hear on the air Of killing and stealing And crime everywhere. We sigh and we say As we notice the trend, “This young generation— Where will it all end?” But can we be sure That it’s their fault alone? That maybe a part of it Isn’t also our own? Kids don’t make movies, They don’t write the books, That paint a gay picture of gangsters and crooks. They don’t make the liquor, They don’t run the bars, They don’t make the laws And they don’t buy cars. They don’t make the drugs That addle the brain; It’s all done by older folks, Greedy for gain. In far too many cases We find this to be true, The label “Delinquent” Fits older folks, too. by William Dascenzo

NCCA is pleased to introduce Dr. Joshua Wells. We met him at our conference in North Carolina in 2019 as a promising student who just happened to be friends with Dr. Tim Brewer and his wife Sheryl, who did an incredible job speaking that year. We look forward to hearing all the Lord has laid on his heart for youth and families as he shares with us in his two sessions, "Youth With STD’s" and “Can We Talk For a Minute? Marriage and Family-Focused”. Introductions we receive from our other presenters are available on our Speaker Homepage. We pray God will continue to bless you, and we certainly hope to see you in Sarasota, FL this October 14-15, 2022.

Calling All Warriors!!! It’s no surprise that the world is getting darker and confusion is running rampant. The Lord placed on my heart a few weeks ago these words, “This is not a drill”. I was having a conversation with a sister here at headquarters and the phrase stuck with me. The Holy Spirit was highlighting something for me, like a signpost flashing, the words kept drawing me in! So, when I was away from work last week God downloaded the entire message that I’m sharing here. He said, “Hello Mark, when was the last time you sat with a person on the side of the road who was asking for help and shared Jesus with them? When was the last time you asked someone in a wheelchair if you could pray for their healing? When was the last time you asked your waitress or waiter if they needed prayer? He had me at “Hello”. It’s been too long a while. “This is not a drill” is a call to all of us for taking real action in the harvest field! Look around! Tell me the world is not screaming for the truth! Everywhere people are riding the wave of any strange doctrine that comes across their social media page or news site. (Christians too.) The picture I chose for this encouragement reveals two ways of interpretation: 1. We can stand by and watch a fellow believer get set on fire for God while we remain complacent. 2. We can ask God to set US on fire and answer the Great Commission. The world needs us to speak up and act NOW more than ever before! They need the One who IS Truth! His name is Jesus! And they went out and preached everywhere, while the Lord worked with them, and confirmed the word by the signs that followed. [Mark 16:20 NASB95] Love ya!

NCCA Certified Academic Institutions (CAI’s) are a vital component the Lord uses as NCCA carries out His mission for us “equipping Christians to counsel the hurting”. We view CAI Directors as serving in discipleship ministry, as they lead candidates through the NCCA curriculum. This year at the annual NCCA Conference in Sarasota, the NCCA will present the CAI Award in recognition of the CAI that transferred the most credentialed candidates in 2021. If you are interested in knowing more about how to become an NCCA Certified Academic Institution, please reach out to our ministry headquarters. God often calls NCCA members who have served in full-time ministry, to continue their service as mentors by discipling the next generation of pastoral counselors. Rev. Steven Baran President NCCA

Called According to His Purpose: A Journey into the World of Parenting Special Needs Children By: Crawford Clark Disabilities affect individuals from all walks of life - from the CEO at the largest fortune 500 company to the small business owner at the corner grocery store; from the pastor at the biggest church to the custodian at the local elementary school; from famous celebrities from all walks of life to small-town military heroes. Dr. Crawford G. Clark and his wife have endured a daily struggle raising two children with disabilities. He knows that parents in a similar situation suffer in silence, doing their best to survive each day. Many people have no clue what challenges they face. In this book, the author leads you on a journey of what it's like to raise children with disabilities, including the difficulties with people not being very sympathetic toward children or parents. He covers subjects such as isolation, identity, idiosyncrasies, education, discipline, community, and how God views disabilities. In addition, he shares the story of Theodore DeShields, a good friend whose story speaks to all of us. While he was never supposed to be born, he became a strong person of faith who blessed all those around him.

BEGIN AGAIN Max Lucado In Begin Again, New York Times bestselling author and pastor Max Lucado celebrates God's promise to restore and renew. Max prepares us for the journey ahead by encouraging us to: Trust that God is the author of new beginnings Rely on God's love and protection Hold on to enduring hope Make a difference in the lives of others Set our sights on our eternal home This compilation--which also includes original, never-before-heard content from Max--assures us of the new possibilities ahead.

Ethos Counseling Institute is located in Apache Junction, Arizona. Ethos Counseling Institute is a Certified Academic Institution with the National Christian Counselors Association (NCCA) Sarasota Florida, since July 25, 2016. Dr. Heidi Capozzi received her Doctor of Philosophy in Clinical Christian Counseling through Colorado Theological Seminary. She has been a Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor since 2016. Dr. Heidi also is a Certified Academic Instructor through NCCA, as well as serves as the Executive Pastor alongside her husband at New Season Christian Fellowship in Apache Junction, AZ. Pastor Shawn and Dr. Heidi are also the Executive Directors and progenitors of Ethos Counseling Institute (ECI). ECI is an organization that trains and equips those both called and gifted to the area of Pastoral Counseling. They have three grown children and two daughters-in-love, who faithfully serve in many capacities within the church. And they are blessed with two beautiful grandchildren as well! Temperament – The X-Ray Of The Soul Jesus expressed some of His most memorable teachings through parables. Parables that were significant stories that made the illogical Kingdom that He came from, seem a bit more logical to our finite minds. He portrayed the relevant understanding of sowing and reaping to the agricultural community, the fisher of men parables to the fishermen, the ability to gain understanding of the passion needed for seeking Him and His heart with the parable of the one that would tear their house apart to find that one precious jewel. Let’s face it… we love analogies, stories, visual aids. They assist in simplification, to grasp the vastness of something that is so complex. And that is one way that I have endeavored to become more like Jesus… to become a temperament parable teacher! : ) My husband was a Radiological Technologist for many years before Jesus called us into full time Pastoral ministry two decades ago. Upon entering Christian Counseling, it was an easy analogy to utilize his experience to give our clients a basic understanding of what temperament actually is. Our explanation… we are a spirit that lives forever, we have a soul and are housed in a body. Just as the x-rays show the inner most portions of our physical bodies, the temperament is the x-ray of the soul. Prior to many proper diagnoses being given by a medical professional, images of the unseen must be observed. What’s developing beneath the surface is what is traditionally the cause of what is being seen upon the surface. Temperament is the infrastructure of the soul, much like the bones are the infrastructure of the human body. We wouldn’t take an x-ray of one individual and perform surgery on another individual according to those set of films. Therefore, the discovery of the God-given needs of our temperament will best provide us with strategies to cultivate the atmosphere for our greater mental, emotional, and spiritual health. We often can answer WHAT someone is acting like, HOW their behavior is affecting others, but the most vital question to be answered is, WHY? Why are they feeling the thoughts they feel? Why do they respond the way they do? Why are their fears debilitating to them in this area of their life? These are the questions that can only be answered with discovering the UNSEEN and how it created what we can see. Although it is essential as counselors to eventually inquire of our clients past, their temperament results answer most of those “why” questions without having to delve into past experiences. We explain that we could eliminate the first 5 sessions by just merely having the results of their temperament. It allows us to be a more productive part of their health team, by understanding their motives, their fears, their strengths and weakness tendencies. It enables us, as their counselor, to empower them to become more self-aware, and learn to take responsibility of their decisions based on greater understanding of themselves. The x-ray of the soul enlightens us to develop the most sensible approach to gaining a greater diagnosis to execute the most healthy and successful strategy.

Temperament Corner: Christmas Stress In my Temperament Corner Christmas edition book, my desire is to encourage you to embrace this most Holy Season and keep the true meaning of Christmas tucked in your heart. If you travel back in your heart to the first Christmas and picture yourself standing in the cold evening in a lowly stable with the beautiful star of Bethlehem shining down on you as you gaze upon your Lord and Savior, your soul and your spirit would be filled with love and gratitude. Perhaps you would look at Christmas a little differently. Maybe you would slow down and savor the real meaning of Christmas—Jesus came to die for you and me. This Christmas please don’t become stressed over the hustle and bustle of the commercial Christmas, slow down and enjoy celebrating the true meaning –the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Shalom! Click Here For More Information

Youth, Temperament, and Stress By: Dr Phyllis J. Arno We are continuing the series titled Youth, Temperament and Stress. In this issue we will review some of the “Stress Triggers” in the Inclusion area of the Phlegmatic youth. We will specifically cover “stress” in the home and in school. In review, the Inclusion area is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in the area of surface relationships, associations and socialization and intellectual energies. Word Review of the Phlegmatic Youth in Inclusion slow-paced observer calm easy-going task-oriented dry humor stubborn tolerates people selfish efficient protects their energy avoid confrontation STRESS TRIGGERS – HOME 1. LACK OF REST Because of their low energy, this youth needs to have time to rest after school. Parents need to be taught that this Phlegmatic youth in Inclusion will become irritable and may make cutting (biting) remarks if they do not receive adequate rest. 2. ACCUSATIONS OF BEING LAZY, ESPECIALLY AFTER SCHOOL Teach the parents that this Phlegmatic youth in Inclusion has a low energy level. Their optimum level might be considered unacceptable to the parents, and they are often accused of being lazy. 3. DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY - PARENTS - DRUGS/ALCOHOL Encourage the parents to seek help in getting off drugs and alcohol so that this youth will not become a drug addict or alcoholic. If the drugs are readily available, think of what an escape this would be for a Phlegmatic! Remember: CHILDREN HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD AT LISTENING TO THEIR ELDERS, BUT THEY HAVE NEVER FAILED TO IMITATE THEM! James Baldwin 4. BLENDED OR SINGLE FAMILY - SIBLING RIVALRY In a single parent family, where one parent needs to be mom and dad, how can they prevent sibling rivalry? By giving each youth quality time—not necessarily quantity time and also by finding a person the parent can trust to be a mentor for this youth. Enlighten the parents as to how there is a “pecking order” and that when families are blended, there may be two first borns, two last borns, etc., so each youth will be fighting to maintain their position. This can create problems such as anger, jealousy, resentment, etc., and can bring stress to the blended family. Since this youth is a Phlegmatic in Inclusion, their siblings may feel that this youth is not doing their share of the work, etc. Parents must remember to be open to listen to “all sides” of their disputes. 5. SEXUAL ABUSE - BABYSITTERS, SIBLINGS, RELATIVES, ETC. Teach the parents to encourage the Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth to come to them with any and all problems they may be encountering. They will need to encourage the Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth to share with them as the Phlegmatic youth in Inclusion usually will not volunteer information readily; they do not want to expend the energy. Parents also need to look for signs such as irritability, overeating, cutting themselves, using drugs, drinking alcohol, etc. 5. AVAILABILITY OF ADULT MOVIES, TELEVISION AND THE INTERNET Teach the parents to be aware of what the Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth is watching on television and what movies they are seeing. They also need to be aware of what they are doing on the computer. This Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth needs boundaries. This kind of activity takes very little energy, and they can easily use this as their escape from people and tasks! Parents Need to Become Cyber Savvy! ELEMENTARY SCHOOL Learn about parental controls and filtering software. You can use search engines such as safesearchkids.com Teach your kids to never give out their telephone number or address online. MIDDLE SCHOOL Keep the Internet account in your name to control passwords and filtering. Check your children’s Internet browsing history. Allow them to email and instant-message only people they know. Randomly check their emails and “buddy lists.” If your children participate in chats, help them pick screen names that don’t reveal personal information. Take cyber-bullying seriously. If someone posts threatening or dangerous comments about your child, report it to the police and your service provider. House rule: No downloading without your permission. You can set permissions on smartphones to have time limits on certain apps as well as prevent any downloads from happening without a password. Apple iPhone Parental Controls Samsung Galaxy Parental Controls HIGH SCHOOL Teach teens to use caution when posting about their friends and their plans. Make sure your teens’ online photos don’t reveal identifying information, such as their school’s name. Require your child to ask you before meeting an online “friend” in person. If you agree, schedule the meeting in a public place and accompany your teen. If you have more questions about the intricacies of social media platforms, smartphones, and cybersecurity/cyberbullying please click the button below for parental guides. NETWORK KNOW-HOW Social networking sites such as Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and Facebook set minimum ages for participation. Generally, if your children are 13 or younger, you can have their pages removed. Read a site’s Terms of Use carefully for full details. Ask to see your teens’ pages on social networking sites. Go through their feed, following, and saved posts. Have your teens use the privacy settings on social networking sites, but be aware that some information, such as their picture, nickname, age and location may still be available for all users to see. Go through your teens’ “friends” list to make sure they know and trust those people in real life. Consider making your own profile and “friending” your teens to stay informed about what they are posting. Create a permission on their phone to set a limit and time frame they are allowed to be on social media platforms. STRESS TRIGGERS – SCHOOL 1. INTERACTION ALL DAY (no down time) Teach the parents that after school, this Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth needs his/her “rest time.” The Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth may be quite irritable and full of cutting/biting/stinging remarks because of stress. Parents need to give them an hour or more of “rest time” before doing their chores and/or homework. 2. NEED FOR PERFECTION. Teach the parents to help this Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth understand that their need for perfection may be causing them undue stress. Others cannot live up to their meticulous demands for perfection. They need to allow themselves and others to have the right to be imperfect—including teachers and classmates. Christ is the only perfect one. They need to learn that God will do the perfecting and that He will not put ungodly expectations on them or anyone else. If they do not learn this, they can become so stressed that they will become irritable and will use their cutting/biting/stinging remarks to retaliate or deal with their stress. 3. AVAILABILITY OF DRUGS/ALCOHOL/SEX. Encourage the parents to watch for signs of drug, alcohol and sex. The Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth, if they are using drugs or drinking alcohol, could become more expressive, i.e., using their dry humor as a way of warding off questions. They could also become more irritable than usual and pull away from their family and friends. They might also become slothful and not want to shower or change their clothes. There is a lot of GOOD information on the Internet regarding this. For example: National Institute on Drug Abuse http://www/drugabuse.gov Look for Signs of Sexual Addiction: Frequently telling sexual jokes or making sexual comments or innuendos. Engaging in sexual activity-especially with several partners. Spending considerable time in activities that could lead to sexual activity, such as cruising for potential partners or spending hours online in chat rooms trying to hook up with others. Visiting pornographic websites or looking at pornographic magazines, books, videos. Neglecting obligations such as work, school, or family in pursuit of sexual activity. Continuing to engage in illicit sexual behavior despite the negative consequences related with such activities. Escalating the scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve a desired effect, such as more frequent visits to Web sites or sex with more partners. Frequently isolating themselves from parents and friends and not informing others of their whereabouts. Getting angry if someone shows concerns or questions them about sex or their use of pornography. Feeling irritable when unable to engage in some sort of sexual activity for a long period of time. Making telephone calls with an 800 or 900 prefix. Becoming increasingly dishonest with other people. People who work with sex addicts say that when someone meets 3 or more of the above, that person could possibly have a problem with sexual addition. For more information on help for troubled youth and adults and for those who minister to them. You can also go to The Missing Link Inc. at http://misslink.org 4. DISAPPROVAL FROM TEACHERS/CLASSMATES. Disapproval from teachers and classmates may be caused by the Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth’s dry, sometimes cutting humor. They use this humor as their defense mechanism to keep others from making demands on them— demands that will deplete their low energy. When their energy level is depleted, they can become stressed and may use their dry humor as a way of warding off teachers and classmates. The Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth needs to be taught to interact as much as they are physically able. They also need to be taught that their dry humor can “hurt” and “offend” those to whom they have directed this humor. When they react with this humor, they usually feel that they have been backed into a corner with no way out except to use their dry humor. This is their “weapon of defense.” Sadly, sometimes they do not realize or care how their remarks can offend others; it is just self-preservation. Phlegmatic in Inclusion youths tend to think: “I don’t bother you, don’t bother me.” “Just leave me alone!” 5. BOMB THREATS AND SCHOOL KILLINGS. Encourage the parents to discuss disasters at school and teach the Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth to stay prayed up, be aware of their surroundings, and not take any unnecessary chances. Parents need to bring up these subjects since the Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth probably will not. Most parents do not realize that the Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth has stress regarding the above, but they do. They just do not talk about it. They would probably eat to alleviate these fears and their anger and use their dry humor to ward off discussing it. 6. NEED TO BE SLOW AND METHODICAL Teach this Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth that they need to learn that while in school they need to try to keep pace with the other youths—within reason. Sometimes they will pull back in order to keep the teachers and students from making demands of them. They do not like to be pushed to complete projects; they like to take their time and think things through. The Phlegmatic in Inclusion youth needs to learn to triage what must be done in order to help alleviate their stress. NOTE: PHLEGMATIC IN INCLUSION YOUTH that do not have an outlet for their stress may tend to have anger. If using their dry humor does not help alleviate their stress, this youth may try to find release by using drugs, drinking, binge eating or even cutting themselves—especially if they do not have access to drugs and/or alcohol. PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling Phlegmatic in Inclusion youths, you must take into consideration the following: their walk with the Lord, personality, learned behavior and birth order.