Temperament Corner: September/October
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou has made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
Thou shalt tred upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
Thou shalt tred upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.
FEAR IS A BIG BULLY AND PREYS ON ALL OF THE TEMPERAMENTS!
Fear can keep us locked up in a prison of darkness. But YOU have the key to get out of this prison of darkness. The key is Jesus!
We need to trust that Jesus will get rid of the bully.
How? Jesus is the Light of the World, and the darkness has to run from Him. And Jesus always keeps His Word.
For example, take a flashlight and shine the light in a dark place and see what happens—the darkness disappears!
The same thing will happen with our fears because Jesus is our Light—our fears will disappear!
The Holy Scriptures tell us:
“Fear not.” It is in our Bible over 70 times and tells us that God is always here for us; however, sometimes, when we are going through the valleys, we tend to let fear creep in and take over.
Encouraging Scriptures regarding fear:
Isaiah 41:10: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
Joshua 1:5: “I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”
Psalm 23:4, 5: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
Psalm 27:1: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?”
Psalm 56:11: “In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.”
Hebrews 13:6: “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”
John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
I John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”
LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS IN THE INCLUSION AREA OF THE MELANCHOLY AND SHINE THE LIGHT OF JESUS ON THEM.
In review, Inclusion is the need to establish and maintain satisfactory relationships with people in the area of surface relationships. (This includes association and socialization.) It also encompasses a person’s intellectual energies.
1. FEAR OF REJECTION
Melancholies in Inclusion tend to fear rejection from people and will tend to reject them first. This is because they do not relate well to people and do not understand them. Since they tend to think a great deal, this fear of rejection may only be perceived.
They need to learn to yield their thoughts to Jesus. They must remember: They are the guardians of their mind and, as guardians, they need to continually submit their fears of rejection to Jesus. If they do this, Jesus will alleviate their fears.
Therefore, they need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of rejection and learn that He loves them. One of the old hymns tells us: “More secure is no one ever than the loved one of the Savior.” When you feel secure in God’s love, you will not tend to fear rejection from people.
Hebrews 13:5b, 6 tells us: “…I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”
2. FEAR OF SOCIALIZING
Melancholies in Inclusion tend to have the fear of socializing because they do not relate well to people; they relate better to doing tasks. They tend to fear that people will make demands on them to interact—demands that will make them feel uncomfortable.
If Melancholies in Inclusion are required to attend social functions, they would probably feel more comfortable working in the background doing tasks such as setting up sound equipment, building scenery, painting, cooking, etc.
When they have a task to perform, they can avoid being drawn into interacting with people; however, if someone draws them into a conversation, they will do the listening and may even talk about their work or the weather. They usually do not like to be questioned regarding their personal life as they prefer not to share their personal thoughts and feelings.
They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of socializing so that they can comfortably interact and fellowship with God’s people.
I John 1:7 tells us: “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”
3. FEAR OF IMPERFECTION OF SELF AND OTHERS
Melancholies in Inclusion tend to fear that they do not measure up to their own ideals of perfection; therefore, no one else could ever see them as perfect either. In their own eyes they are never perfect enough.
Since they cannot see perfection within themselves, they will then tend to look at others thinking that they are perfect; however, Melancholies in Inclusion soon find out that others also have imperfections. They may even begin to think to themselves: “Nobody is perfect and nobody can be perfect.” Therefore, to compensate for their own feelings of imperfection or inadequacy they may become highly critical of others.
Melancholies in Inclusion need to know that only Jesus is totally perfect and that they need to give themselves and others the freedom to be imperfect.
They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of imperfection. They need to remember that Jesus is Perfection, and that as they yield their strengths and weaknesses to Him, He will do the perfecting in them as well as in others. Then, Melancholies in Inclusion will truly be able to accept themselves and others as God created them to be and will know that we are all works in progress.
II Samuel 22:33 tells us: “God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.”
Psalm 138:8 tells us: “The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O Lord, endureth forever: forsake not the works of thine own hands."
4. FEAR OF DEATH AND DYING
Melancholies in Inclusion tend to fear death and dying. They tend to have many questions such as: “Will I linger in pain and die a slow death?” “Will I be able to take care of myself?” “Who will take care of me if I can’t take care of myself?” “Will I have to leave my home and go to a health care center?”
The reason they have all of these questions in their mind is that they usually do not want to leave their home or even want to live with one of their children, and they do not want to live in a nursing home. This is because their home is their “castle,” their “safe haven” away from the rest of the world, and also, they do not want to have strangers take care of them. They will not usually talk to people about this because they do not want them to know of their fears; but they will tend to think about all of this constantly.
If they continually dwell on thoughts of death, and dying they may even think about committing suicide to escape these thoughts and to escape the inevitable—leaving their home.
They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of death and dying. They need to learn that He is their true “safe haven” and they can always “run to Him.”
Psalm 23:4 tells us: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me.”
Isaiah 41:10 tells us: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
5. FEAR OF FINANCIAL INSECURITY
Melancholies in Inclusion tend to be concerned about their finances. Some tend to need to pay cash for everything; some tend to need to have a certain amount of money in their pocket; some tend to need to buy land as an investment; some will tend to clip coupons; and some will tend to only buy items that are on sale. If they have investments, they will tend to watch the stock market reports daily. If the market goes down, they tend to become fearful and become insecure.
Melancholies in Inclusion may tend to feel insecure with their job. They may think: “What will I do if I lose my job?” “How will I support myself and my family?”
Dwelling on financial insecurities may even cause them to entertain suicidal thoughts to escape the pressure.
They need to learn to shine the light of Jesus on their fears of financial insecurity because God said that He will supply all their needs.
Philippians 4:19 tells us: “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”
Matthew 6:30 tells us: “Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you….?”
Melancholies in Inclusion need to shine the light of Jesus on their fears and learn that:
God will never leave them or forsake them, and they do not have to fear rejection from people.
God wants them to fellowship with other believers and be at peace with their neighbors and co-workers.
God wants them to know that He will do the perfecting of others as well as of themselves.
God wants them to trust in Him, and not to fear death and dying as He is with them always.
God wants them to trust in Him, and He will supply their needs.
PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling the Melancholy in Inclusion you must take into consideration their walk with the Lord, learned behavior, personality and birth order.
In the next issue, we will look at FEARS in the Inclusion area of the Phlegmatic.