Temperament Corner July/August

Dr. Phyllis Arno
Aug 10
3 min read

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

By: Dr. Phyllis J. Arno

Sanguine in Affection

We have all heard the question: “What is love?”

As Christians, we often answer, “God is love,” and encourage people to read 1

Corinthians 13:4–7:

Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, It does not boast, It is not proud, It is not rude, It is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres.

Many people respond, “But I can’t be patient or kind like that!”

So what do we tell them?

The answer is simple: if a person has accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, then God’s unconditional love already lives in them, because God is love (1 John 4:16).

All they need to do is “tap into” His love by letting go of their own conditional love and allowing God’s unconditional love to flow through them. When they do this, their love is no longer based on conditions—it becomes unconditional.

God’s Command to Love

Deuteronomy 6:5–9 tells us:

“And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.”

Other helpful Scriptures include:

Matthew 22:37–39 – Love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.
John 3:16 – God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son.
John 13:34 – Jesus commands us to love one another as He has loved us.
John 14:23–24 – Those who love Jesus will obey His words.
2 Corinthians 7:1 – Purify yourself in body and spirit, out of reverence for God.
Philippians 1:9–10 – Pray that love grows in knowledge and discernment.
2 Timothy 1:7 – God has given us a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind.
1 John 4:7–8, 15–16, 21 – Love one another, for love comes from God. Whoever loves is born of God, for God is love.

What Is Unconditional Love?

The Bible teaches that God loves us unconditionally.

Unconditional love means love without strings attached—we cannot earn it.

Wikipedia: “Affection without any limitations, or love without conditions.”
Webster’s: “Not subject to limitations or reservations.”

True love cannot be fully understood until we experience God’s love, because His love is perfect and unconditional. However, we must also understand that God’s love does not overlook sin.

Proverbs 6:16–19 lists seven things the Lord hates:

A proud look
A lying tongue
Hands that shed innocent blood
A heart plotting evil
Feet quick to do mischief
A false witness
One who causes discord among brothers

Sanguine in Affection

The Sanguine temperament in the Affection area has these tendencies:

Affectionate and “skin hungry”
Sexually oriented and fearful of rejection
Impulsive and responsive to rewards
Initiators, but often hot-tempered
Upbeat and extravagant

Because they are relationship-oriented, Sanguines often initiate affection. They may say, “I need lots of hugs” or “Let’s snuggle.”

They form many deep relationships because they love to be loved.
They are usually optimistic and upbeat.
They fear rejection and may try harder to please close relationships.
They are “swingers” emotionally—joyful when accepted, withdrawn, and moody when rejected.
They are often extravagant with gifts for loved ones.
They are romantic, enjoying candlelight dinners and romantic movies.

Sanguines in Affection need to look to God first for love and affection. Once they develop intimacy with Him, they will become secure in His love and better able to show healthy love to others.

If a Sanguine lives alone, having a pet can help meet their natural need to give and receive affection.

Learning to Love Unconditionally as a Sanguine

Look to God first for love and affection.
Follow God’s example of unconditional love.
Avoid ungodly demands on close relationships—others may not share the same level of need for affection.
Maintain balance—focus on meeting the needs of others, not just your own.
Use godly outlets for affection—if single or living alone, pets can be a healthy source of companionship.

Note to Counselors:

When counseling a Sanguine in Affection, remember to consider:

Learned behavior
Birth order
Walk with the Lord

These factors all affect how a Sanguine expresses love and affection.