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Temperament Corner May/June

Updated: 1 day ago

ARE YOU LIVING WITH FAITH OR LIVING IN FEAR?

PHLEGMATIC IN INCLUSION-CONTROL-AFFECTION

By Dr. Phyllis J. Arno



 




Faith is a fruit of the Spirit and available to all.


Love, Joy, Peace,

Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness,

FAITH, Meekness, Temperance

Galatians 5:22-23 KJV



Living with faith means that you are grounded on the solid rock-JESUS.


Living in fear means that you are NOT grounded on the solid rock.


Living in fear means that your house is built on the sand. 


The sand contains:


hatred                                       sadness                      retaliation

insecurity                                 frustration                  bitterness 

stress                                        unforgiveness            violence 

disbelief                                   unhappiness               hypocrisy

guilt                                         jealousy                      depression

anxiety                                    criticism                      murder

prejudice                                 drugs                           vengeance

anger                                       resentment                   alcohol



WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT FAITH


Hebrews 11:1:  Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.


Romans 10:17:  So, then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God

I Peter 1:7:  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.


I Timothy 6:12:   Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold of eternal life…


II Timothy 4:7: I have fought a good fight.  I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.


James 2:26:  For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.


WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT REWARDS OF FAITH


Power to become the sons of God.  See John 1:12


Power to do mighty works.  See John 14:12


Kept in perfect peace.  See Isaiah 26:3


Kept safe.  See Proverb 29:25


Having assurance of prayer answered.  See I John 5:14


Will not be confounded (confused).  See I Peter 2:6


WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT FEAR


There are good fears and bad.  The latter kind come from wrong believing and open the door to doubt and hinder the flow of God’s power.


The Greek word “deilia” is for a cowardly fear; not being able to face a problem, but rather, running from it.  


There is also the fear of people or things, based on perceptions and/or lies.


There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. See I John 4:18


I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from ALL my fears.  See Psalm 34:4


For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.  See II Timothy 1:7


Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God:  I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  See Isaiah 41:10


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil (fear of dying). See Psalm 23:4


See also Psalm 91 and Psalm 121.


PLEASE REMEMBER, FEAR CAN PARALYZE YOU SO THAT YOU CANNOT OPERATE IN FAITH.  IF FEAR IS IN CONTROL, IT WILL PUSH OUT FAITH.


LET’S LOOK AT SOME OF THE  FEARS OF A PHLEGMATIC IN INCLUSION



FEAR OF BEING PRESSURED INTO BECOMING TOO INVOLVED IN 

PROJECTS AT WORK.


In order to keep people from pressuring them to become too involved in projects at work that may drain their energy, they may tend to use their sense of humor in a sarcastic way.



FEAR OF BEING “PRESSURED” TO SOCIALIZE.


They tend to be stubborn and may use their humor in a sarcastic way to keep people from pressuring them to socialize.  They relate to tasks better than people. This is because they are task oriented and people tend to drain their low energy. They have no real need to socialize. 











FEAR THAT PEOPLE MAY FIND OUT THAT THEY ARE USING THEM TO DEFER A SOCIAL AND/OR WORK SITUATION


They tend to fear that people will find out that they are motivating them to handle situations so that they, the Phlegmatic, does not have to become involved. 




FEAR OF BEING ACCUSED OF BEING LAZY


They tend to need to move at a slow, steady pace; therefore, people often accuse them of being lazy.  They are stubbornly resistant to change, especially when it directly affects them.  They also tend to be highly organized and want to think through in advance of their actions.


FEAR OF REVEALING PERSONAL INFORMATION ABOUT THEMSELVES


They tend to fear revealing personal information about themselves as they are very self-protective;  therefore, when asked about their private life, they may tend to use their humor to change the subject.



LET’S LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS OF A PHLEGMATIC IN CONTROL


FEAR OF LOSING THEIR INDEPENDENCE


They tend to be self-protective.  They do not want others to control them as they are highly independent and like to work at their own pace. They need to seek employment where they are not controlled so that they can work at their own pace.




FEAR OF MAKING CHANGES REGARDING THEIR WORK


They tend to be stubbornly resistant to changes because they believe they have done their very best, and they do not want to drain their energy fixing or changing something that they believe is “not broken.”


FEAR OTHERS WILL MAKE DEMANDS ON THEM TO PARTICIPATE IN PROJECTS OR EVENTS


They tend to fear that this will drain their energy so they will tend to not obligate themselves.




FEAR OF BEING PUSHED TO MOVE AT A FASTER PACE

They tend to need to move at a slower pace because of their low energy.  Being 

pushed to go at a faster pace will drain them physically and emotionally. However, even though they have this fear they may, at times, take the path of least resistance to protect their low energy.


They tend to prefer working at a job where they can sit and work at their own pace. They tend to like to do detailed work such as data entry, bookkeeping, cataloging, maintaining records and research work.



FEAR OF CONFLICT


They tend to want peace at all cost as they know conflict will drain their energy.  They will need to learn to maintain balance in their life so they do not take the path of least resistance that could adversely affect others.


LET’S LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS OF A PHLEGMATIC IN  AFFECTION


FEAR OF BECOMING INVOLVED IN DEEP RELATIONSHIPS


They establish very few deep relationships. They tend to not want to get involved.  This is because they do not have the energy; therefore, they tend to be overly protective of their low energy in this area. 




FEAR OF MAKING COMMITMENTS 


They tend to be overly protective of their low energy and they fear making commitments as they do not want to expend the energy required of them to maintain these commitments; however,  If they do make commitments, they may tend to express love and affection to their deep relationships by doing tasks for them rather than hugging and touching, etc. in order to meet their need for peace.


FEAR OF BEING CRITICIZED FOR BEING UNEMOTIONAL 


They tend to respond to their deep relationships rather than initiate. They do this in order to keep from being criticized for being unemotional. This is because of their low energy. They will respond to their deep relationships just to keep the peace.


FEAR THAT THEIR DEEP RELATIONSHIPS MISUNDERSTAND THEIR SENSE OF  HUMOR


They tend to fear the loss of a deep relation due to death because they only allow a  few people into their deep affection area. They can mourn the loss of a deep relationship for years.



FEAR OF EMOTIONALLY EXPRESSING THE LOSS OF A DEEP RELATIONSHIP 


They tend to fear expressing the loss of a deep relationship because they are not comfortable expressing their grief emotionally with hugs and tears.  They prefer to express their grief by performing tasks for the family; however, people tend to feel that they do not care.


NOTE:  “A Phlegmatic is a Phlegmatic is a Phlegmatic.” In other words, a Phlegmatic  needs to move at a slow pace because they have low energy. It does not matter whether they are Phlegmatic  in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is: THEY NEED TO MOVE AT A SLOWER PACE. 

Please remember that these are temperament tendencies.  Their walk with the Lord, their birth order and their learned behavior will tend to affect their temperament.  


It is important to let them know these are tendencies and because of the effects of the above, some of the tendencies may not apply to them.


You need to explain to your counselees that there are no good or bad  temperaments.  God created  all temperaments with strengths, weaknesses and needs.


When you are disseminating the APS tendencies to your counselees, you need to start out by saying:  “People with your temperament tend to do….”. By doing this, you are letting them know that they are not the only ones with this temperament. 

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