Every now and then I receive a word from the Lord that I believe bears repeating, and this is one of those messages. The War... We all fight in a war. We are all battling things, thoughts, people, and situations on a minute-to-minute basis. But are we missing the real war? The Lord revealed a great truth to me: “You will never win any battle on the outside until you win the battle on the inside.” Immediately, I knew He was pointing to my true identity, the identity we read about, teach about, preach about. You know exactly where I’m going with this, yes, our identity in Christ! Many get caught up in finding their identity in their family, their work, or their ministry. Is this where our true identity lies? I believe the answer to this question is a great big “NO!” Are we all in agreement? Uh-oh, I’m preachin’ now! You see, our enemy wants us focused on battling the “things”, the “situations”, the “sickness” (even the adversary himself) in our own strength, to achieve some fleshly, temporary, feel-good victory. The enemy keeps winning ground in our lives by distracting us from drawing on our true identity in Christ when these battles come our way. The devil knows he doesn’t stand a chance when we walk in the authority and identity as Children of God in Christ! 1John 4:4 says: “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world”. Do you see this? “...greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” The overcoming, battle-winning power comes from He that is in us! Christ Jesus! If Satan can draw us out into the world in our own strength to do battle, he’s got us in a battle in which we don’t belong. We cannot go into battle without the full armor of our identity in Christ and expect victory. “Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil”. [Ephesians 6:11] “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them…” So, brothers and sisters let's armor up by remembering who we REALLY ARE!

Youth, Temperament, and Stress By: Dr Phyllis J. Arno We are continuing the series titled Youth, Temperament and Stress. In this issue we will review some of the “Stress Triggers” in the Inclusion area of the Melancholy youth. We will specifically cover “stress” in the home and in school. In review, the Inclusion area is the need to establish and maintain a satisfactory relationship with people in the area of surface relationships, associations and socialization and intellectual energies. Word Review of the Melancholy Youth in Inclusion introvert creative task-oriented thinker moody negative artistic fear of rejection anger artistic depressed low self-esteem fear of economic failure STRESS TRIGGERS – HOME 1. PARENTAL REJECTION/CRITICISM This youth needs encouragement and acceptance. Parental rejection will cause them to become more withdrawn and sullener. Parents should not reject them because they are quiet and do not want to go out and socialize all the time. The reason the Melancholy in Inclusion youth does not want to socialize is the fact that they are task oriented and not relationship oriented—they really do not understand people. Parents need to accept the fact that they are task oriented and not relationship oriented. Melancholy in Inclusion youth do not usually want to expose their thoughts and fears. The parents need to take a genuine interest in them, asking the youth to work on a project (one of interest to the Melancholy in Inclusion youth) help them build a relationship on trust and respect. Parental rejection can cause Melancholy youth to turn to drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography, etc. Parental rejection can also cause them to have feelings of worthlessness. Teach the parents the difference between destructive and constructive criticism. Destructive criticism tends to make the youth feel condemned, and they will grow up condemning. Teach the parents to be less negative. Negative is saying: “No, you can’t go on the computer until your homework or chores are done.” Try being positive when you tend to be negative! “Yes, you can go on the computer as soon as you have finished your homework or chores.” When a parent is in a situation where they are asked to make a quick decision, and they do not want to make this decision alone, they can say: “That’s an interesting idea. I think your Dad (Mom) would like to be involved too. Let’s talk about it when they get home.” Also, on a positive note, parents need to learn to give the Melancholy in Inclusion youth their own chores. Posting a schedule on the refrigerator or bulletin board will remind the youth without the parents “nagging” them. 2. DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY—PARENTS ON DRUGS/ALCOHOL If the parents are on drugs or they are alcoholics, encourage them to seek help in getting off drugs. Also encourage them to seek help so they can stop drinking. Melancholy in Inclusion youth will tend to use drugs and alcohol to escape the pain. They will follow the example set by the parents—even if they hate the parents being on drugs or an alcoholic. Sometimes you become what you hate! Remember: CHILDREN HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD AT LISTENING TO THEIR ELDERS, BUT THEY HAVE NEVER FAILED TO IMITATE THEM! James Baldwin 3. BLENDED OR SINGLE FAMILY–SIBLING RIVALRY Enlighten the parents as to how there is a “pecking order” and that when families are blended, there may be two firstborns, two lastborns, etc., so each youth will be fighting to maintain their position. This can create problems such as anger, jealousy, resentment, etc., and can bring stress to the blended family. The parents need to be aware of the fact that Melancholy in Inclusion youth will have a hard time trying to maintain their position. The Melancholy in Inclusion youth may spend much of their time thinking of ways to get even with the other siblings. Parents need to deal with each sibling uniquely and individually since treating all the siblings the same may cause more conflict. They should have family discussion times so that they can discuss any problems that may arise regarding siblings vying for their space. The parents need to be watching for signs such as intense sibling rivalry, moodiness, rebellion, irritability, low grades, etc. In a single parent family where one parent needs to be mother and father and cannot give this Melancholy youth in Inclusion quantity time, they can give them quality time. Quality time means the parent gives them their undivided attention—setting aside a time just for this youth. They could do something special with the youth such as going for walks, baking, watching a movie, working on an old car, or any other tasks that might interest the youth. The parent could also try to find a person they can trust to be a mentor to this youth. 4. SEXUAL ABUSE—BABYSITTERS, SIBLINGS, RELATIVES, ETC. Teach the parents to encourage the Melancholy in Inclusion youth to come to them with all problems they may be encountering. This youth needs to be able to volunteer information readily. The parents should also look for signs of abuse, such as depression, low grades, lack of interest, anger, moodiness, etc. Also, the parents should know to whom they are entrusting their children. Knowing their youth’s temperament is the key to knowing what questions to ask. The parents need to assure the youth that they can tell the parents anything and that they will not condemn nor criticize them, but rather listen and deal with the situation in a godly manner. The Melancholy in Inclusion youth needs to be able to trust their parents and know that they will not reveal what they have shared in confidence. 5. AVAILABILITY OF MOVIES, TELEVISION AND THE INTERNET Teach the parents to know what the Melancholy in Inclusion youth is watching. This youth needs boundaries. They are unsure without them! Melancholy in Inclusion youth will use the Internet, movies and television as an escape from the world around them. In this way, they can live without socializing; however, this youth needs to learn to moderately socialize in order to maintain balance in their life. Parents Need to Become Cyber Savvy! ELEMENTARY SCHOOL Learn about parental controls and filtering software. You can use search engines such as safesearchkids.com Teach your kids to never give out their telephone number or address online. MIDDLE SCHOOL Keep the Internet account in your name to control passwords and filtering. Check your children’s Internet browsing history. Allow them to email and instant-message only people they know. Randomly check their emails and “buddy lists.” If your children participate in chats, help them pick screen names that don’t reveal personal information. Take cyber-bullying seriously. If someone posts threatening or dangerous comments about your child, report it to the police and your service provider. House rule: No downloading without your permission. You can set permissions on smartphones to have time limits on certain apps as well as prevent any downloads from happening without a password. Apple iPhone Parental Controls Samsung Galaxy Parental Controls HIGH SCHOOL Teach teens to use caution when posting about their friends and their plans. Make sure your teens’ online photos don’t reveal identifying information, such as their school’s name. Require your child to ask you before meeting an online “friend” in person. If you agree, schedule the meeting in a public place and accompany your teen. If you have more questions about the intricacies of social media platforms, smartphones, and cybersecurity/cyberbullying please click the button below for parental guides. NETWORK KNOW-HOW Social networking sites such as Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and Facebook set minimum ages for participation. Generally, if your children are 13 or younger, you can have their pages removed. Read a site’s Terms of Use carefully for full details. Ask to see your teens’ pages on social networking sites. Go through their feed, following, and saved posts. Have your teens use the privacy settings on social networking sites, but be aware that some information, such as their picture, nickname, age and location may still be available for all users to see. Go through your teens’ “friends” list to make sure they know and trust those people in real life. Consider making your own profile and “friending” your teens to stay informed about what they are posting. Create a permission on their phone to set a limit and time frame they are allowed to be on social media platforms. 6. NOT HAVING QUIET, ALONE TIME This youth needs quiet time, especially after school. If they must share a bedroom with siblings, it will be hard for them to find quiet, alone time. Their “safe haven” does not have to be a “room.” The “safe haven” can be taking long walks, tinkering around in the garage or basement, playing music, reading, sports, watching movies or surfing the Internet. STRESS TRIGGERS – SCHOOL 1. INTERACTION ALL DAY (no down time) Teach the parents that after school, this youth needs his/her “safe haven.” They need to be able to relieve stress by doing something creative, e.g., writing, singing, woodworking, crafts, Internet (with parental rules and supervision), watching movies, etc. If they cannot find a safe haven, they tend to become irritable, may possibly have physical problems and become difficult to live with. At school they may be aloof and distant. 2. NEED FOR PERFECTION. Encourage the parents to let them talk about their need for perfection and let them know that it is okay to be “imperfect.” This Melancholy in Inclusion youth needs to allow themself and others to have the right to be imperfect including their teachers and classmates. Christ is the only perfect one. The older a Melancholy in Inclusion youth becomes, the more perfectionistic they will become; therefore, they must learn at an early age that it is “okay to be imperfect.” They need to learn that God will do the perfecting and that He will not put ungodly expectations on them or anyone else. If they do not learn this, they will become so stressed that they will be unable to function on a daily basis. 3. AVAILABILITY OF DRUGS/ALCOHOL/SEX. The parents need to teach the Melancholy in Inclusion youth the consequences of using drugs, drinking alcohol or having premarital sex. The parents need to be prepared and have facts to back them up. Melancholy in Inclusion youths will tend to use drugs, alcohol and sex as a way of escaping reality. They will use them as their “haven;” but it will not be a “safe haven.” Encourage the parents to watch for signs of drug, alcohol and sex abuse. The parents need to educate their Melancholy in Inclusion youth about the downside of taking drugs, drinking alcohol and having sex outside of marriage. The parents need to deal with this youth’s intellect as the Melancholy in Inclusion youth is a serious, deep thinker. There is a lot of GOOD information on the Internet regarding this. For example: National Institute on Drug Abuse http://www/drugabuse.gov Look for Signs of Sexual Addiction: Frequently telling sexual jokes or making sexual comments or innuendos. Engaging in sexual activity-especially with several partners. Spending considerable time in activities that could lead to sexual activity, such as cruising for potential partners or spending hours online in chat rooms trying to hook up with others. Visiting pornographic websites or looking at pornographic magazines, books, videos. Neglecting obligations such as work, school, or family in pursuit of sexual activity. Continuing to engage in illicit sexual behavior despite the negative consequences related with such activities. Escalating the scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve a desired effect, such as more frequent visits to Web sites or sex with more partners. Frequently isolating themselves from parents and friends and not informing others of their whereabouts. Getting angry if someone shows concerns or questions them about sex or their use of pornography. Feeling irritable when unable to engage in some sort of sexual activity for a long period of time. Making telephone calls with an 800 or 900 prefix. Becoming increasingly dishonest with other people. People who work with sex addicts say that when someone meets 3 or more of the above, that person could possibly have a problem with sexual addition. For more information on help for troubled youth and adults and for those who minister to them. You can also go to The Missing Link Inc. at http://misslink.org 4. DISAPPROVAL FROM TEACHERS/CLASSMATES. Encourage the parents to find out why the Melancholy youth is having problems with their teachers and classmates. Parents should encourage the youth to express their thoughts and should listen and not immediately give their disapproval. Remember, Melancholy in Inclusion youth sometimes perceive disapproval because of their low self-esteem. If the parents teach them how to become secure in knowing they have their approval and God’s approval, the youth will not be insecure if they do not have their teachers’ or classmates’ approval. Melancholy in Inclusion youth sometimes give off an air of arrogance and aloofness. This may be because they are hurting deeply inside and have no “release valve.” They tend to never forget words that have been spoken to them. 5. BOMB THREATS AND SCHOOL KILLINGS. Encourage the parents to discuss disasters at school and teach the Melancholy in Inclusion youth to stay prayed up, be aware of their surroundings, and not take any unnecessary chances. Parents need to bring up the subject since the Melancholy in Inclusion youth probably will not. The Melancholy in Inclusion youth can become fearful and angry because no one is doing anything to prevent these incidents. Melancholy in Inclusion youth have enough fears to deal with, so they do not need any more. The more fearful they are, the angrier they can become and the more time they may spend thinking of ways to retaliate. You need to always keep in mind the saying: “Sometimes you become what you hate.” 6. BULLIES. Encourage the parents to discuss bullies and harassment with their Melancholy in Inclusion youth. Parents need to be aware that bullying can even happen in Christian schools. The parents need to pray and seek God’s wisdom to find ways to help this youth and ways to deal with this problem in a godly manner so as not to bring more pain and suffering to this Melancholy in Inclusion youth. Melancholy in Inclusion youth do not usually volunteer this information, and that is why the parents need to look for signs and be available to listen and talk to their Melancholy in Inclusion youth. The Melancholy in Inclusion youth needs to learn to pray for their enemies and try to live in peace with them. At first, this might not be easy, but if the parents are praying with them, it will give them the support they need and help them to know they are not doing this alone. Sometimes those that are doing the bullying and harassing have problems and have no one to talk with or ventilate. The Melancholy in Inclusion youth can more readily understand someone like this and be more willing to pray for them. NOTE: MELANCHOLY IN INCLUSION YOUTH that do not have an outlet for their stress may tend to have internal anger, headaches, anorexia, bulimia, etc. This youth may try to find release by doing drugs, drinking, cutting and entertaining thoughts of suicide. PLEASE NOTE: These are temperament tendencies, and, as always, while you are counseling Melancholy in Inclusion youths, you must take into consideration the following: their walk with the Lord, birth order, learned behavior and personality.

Whaddayathink? I’m writing this on 2/22/22. The last person writing on this date was 100 years ago. Pretty cool, right? This is one of the things I thought about this morning. So, this brings me to what the Lord has been showing me through the Scriptures. What have I been thinking about and imagining? In Philippians 4:8 [NLT] Paul says: “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” In 1 Peter 1:13 [NLT] Peter says: “So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. In 2 Peter 3:9 [NLT] Peter also says: “The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, He is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent”. Yes, we’ve all said we want Jesus to come quickly and set everything right, but 2 Peter 3:9 says He’s not being slow, but patient FOR OUR SAKES! There is much we must do! How will everyone repent if they don’t hear us speaking the “Good News” to them? It would be really cool to get some feedback on this one! Love ya,

Do you have specific temperament questions? Would you benefit from having greater insight into different temperament blends? There is no better time to ask questions than on Thursday night with Drs. Richard and Phyllis Arno! This informative session with our founders is not one to miss! Watch It Below!

Watch the video above for a look at this year's special event, our Sunset Dinner Cruise on Sarasota Bay. Availability for this event is closing fast as we only have 65 spots left, so make sure to register soon before it's too late. ​​​​ We look forward to a night out on the water with you!

Loose Stones? This month, writing an encouragement has been quite interesting, and somewhat challenging in fact. The Holy Spirit has given me so many dreams, visions, and revelations of God’s Word that I don’t know where to begin! So, as I ponder these things more deeply, I believe the Lord is leading me to share with you about this very short dream He gave me. In the dream, it was somewhat dark on a street, and I was watching as something sinister reached out its hand and then pulled a small, loose stone from the foundation of a building partway out. That was it! That’s the dream. This is what the Holy Spirit revealed about this dream. The hand is the enemy, the thief, the devil looking for stones not fitly set in the Body of Christ, representing those that are not grounded and rooted in the Word of God. If he can loosen the stone, or remove it completely, the foundation of the building becomes weakened and unstable causing marriages to collapse and ministries to fail. So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family. Together, we are His house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in Him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. [Ephesians 2:19-21 NLT] During these trying times, these chaotic and confusing times, we must remember that it’s not just about us, but it’s about the whole building, it’s about the whole Body of Christ! We must stay strong in God’s Word and the power of the Holy Spirit! Don’t be a “loose stone” the enemy can get a grip on and remove from the position God has placed you in!

After much prayer in seeking the Lord for His will, we are excited to publish our agenda for the NCCA annual conference in Sarasota, FL on October 13-15, 2022! We believe you will fully enjoy this year’s topics and direction in the area of youth. To view the full 2-day agenda, click the button below and be sure to note the bonus session with Drs. Arno on Thursday evening to kick things off this year Register for in-person or virtual attendance now by clicking the button below. Convenient payment plans are still available as an option when you complete your online registration! Thank you for your support of the NCCA and the APS. We cannot wait to be together once again in sunny Sarasota, FL this October!

VIRTUAL + IN-PERSON Back to Basics is a video course aimed at helping NCCA trained Temperament Counselors to feel confident and equipped at using the A.P.S. report to serve their clients in counseling practices and ministries. Contact Dr. Keiah Ellis drkeiah@thefaithledgroup.org

VIRTUAL Mentoring for Christian counselors to grow in their skill, heart and practice. This is an intensive and one on one method of approach. I look forward to speaking with you. Please call for a free interview. These sessions will be yours alone and will not be a shared mentorship. Contact Info: 615-332-4389

The 2021 NCCA Conference was held at the Renaissance Arlington Capital View Hotel in Washington, DC – October 15th-16th, 2021. On Friday, October 15th, we had sessions in the morning consisting of: WELCOME ADDRESS presented by Rev. Steven M. Baran, President. SESSION 1: “THE EQUAL AND OPPOSITE PRINCIPLE” and SESSION 2: “THE INSIDE OUT PRINCIPLE” presented by Dr. David J. Ralston. He shared from his new book, “God Turns Our Broken Pieces into Masterpieces.” SESSION 3: “PHLEGMATIC STRESS IN INCLUSION.” presented by Dr. Phyllis Arno. This session examined the Phlegmatic Stress in Inclusion and, since I ran overtime, I promised Dr. Richard that he could speak first next year! SESSIONS 4 AND 5: "MAXIMUM COUNSELING MINISTRY WITH MINIMAL LIABILITY” presented by Attorney David Gibbs III. He provided us much-needed information from his legal perspective. FRIDAY AFTERNOON: After lunch we loaded up on buses and went to the Museum of the Bible. The museum documents the narrative, history and impact of the Bible. It opened on November 17, 2017! It was very interesting and well done. We could have spent the whole day there. This was an awesome experience! If you ever plan a trip to Washington, DC you will want to add this to your “must visit” list. On Saturday, October 16th, we had a full day of sessions consisting of: SESSION 6: “USING TRANSFORMATIONAL BOOKMARKS TO INCREASE THE EFFECTIVENESS OF APS” and SESSION 7: “EFFECTIVELY GIVING HOPE TO CHANGE LIVES” presented by Dr. Rickey A. Nation. He gave his testimony and shared about his temperament bookmarks and how to use them for maximum effectiveness. He also reviewed the question “How does the APS enable or help us lead them to Hope”? SESSION 8: “TEMPERAMENT: A WINDOW INTO TRAUMA” and SESSION 9: “HEALING THE WOUNDS” presented by Dr. Robert A. Horner, Jr. He addressed such topics as how trauma affects our mind, will and emotions; a definition of soul wounds; and how do we know if these responses are connected to a soul wound or trauma? He shared that if clients get stuck, we can offer questions to narrow down the search related to their temperament insecurities, and steps to take to identify soul wounds. He also covered such topics as: Ways we can encourage our clients. How do we use temperament to address cognitive distortions and false beliefs? How can temperament help to process the emotional wounds? SESSIONS 10 and 11 “OBEDIENCE OVER OUTCOME” was presented by Holly Mutlu. She shared a song or two and talked about what God can do with a little “yes” and the freedom from living outside of the box that man created. SESSION 12: “FORTY YEARS OF LOVING PEOPLE JUST AS GOD LOVES US” presented by Rev. Steven M. Baran. He surprised myself and Dr. Richard with a video of the past years, and shared the importance of maintaining compassion and a Godly attitude toward others! A BIG THANKS GOES TO…. Rev. Steve Baran, N.C.C.A. President, for his leadership abilities in lining up the conference location and all the behind-the-scenes efforts that it takes to make a conference a success. Rev. Baran was also the Master of Ceremonies and was available to give guidance to our members on a one-on-one basis. Jason Ferrill for all his work in helping to prepare for the conference and working with the hotel staff during the conference. Michael Andrews for his tech support as well as assisting the NCCA conference attendees during the conference. Mara Baran for doing a fantastic job laying out the conference notebook, and working with our virtual attendees as well taking photos at the photo booth with a big smile and assisting wherever she was needed. Michael Dan, Linda Walker, Mark Winchell, Brian Colvin and Erin Baran for keeping the main headquarters open to service our members who were unable to attend the conference. Dr. Richard Arno for his cheerful presence during the conference. And a very big THANK YOU to all of you who attended the conference in person or virtually! It was such a JOY to be with you all! Most of all, we would like to thank the Lord for anointing the conference. We were all truly BLESSED! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF OUR NCCA FAMILY AND MAY YOU HAVE A BLESSED, JOYFUL, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Living Word By: Dr Phyllis J. Arno “ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” John 1:1 “And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.” John 1:14 John 3:16 tell us: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” God has given us a very precious gift, HIS ONLY SON. This Christmas as we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, let’s ponder on some of the gifts that Jesus has given us: The gift of eternal life to all that ask – John 3:16 The gift of freedom from sin—Gal. 5:1a The gift of access to God – Colossians 2:10b The gift of wisdom – I Corinthians 1:30 The gift of joy – John 15:11 The gift of righteousness – Galatians 2:16b The gift of Peace with God– Romans 5:1 14:27 The gift of His strength – Philippians 4:13 Matthew 2:11 tells us that wise men came to worship Jesus, and they brought him gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. God wants us to give Jesus our love and adoration. If, in your heart, you went to the manger and held baby Jesus, I know that your heart would overflow with love for Him. Once we have been to the manger and held baby Jesus and we find that we have this deep love in our hearts for Him, I believe God wants us to open our hearts and let Jesus flow through us to help minister to others. Whatever you do for others is a gift for Jesus—if you do it with love in your heart. Jesus said in Matthew 25:40: “And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.” Have you considered what gifts you have that you could give to Jesus this Christmas? For the CHOLERIC they could use their gift of leadership to organize Christmas events such as church plays, Cantatas, Christmas luncheons, Christmas meals for those that are alone or unable to attend the Christmas events, etc. For the MELANCHOLY they could use their gift of creativity to make gifts for shut-ins, write Christmas programs, build props for the social events, etc. For the PHLEGMATIC they could use their gift of peacemaking to help ensure that the Christmas events run smoothly and without incident by paying attention to the minutest details, etc. For the SANGUINE they could use their gift of sunshine—bringing happiness and joy to all those around them by making people feel welcome to the Christmas events. They would also do great performing in the Christmas programs! For the SUPINE they could use their gift of serving by helping with the preparations for the Christmas events such as decorating, setting the tables, making casseroles, meat dishes and delicious desserts, etc. In addition to the above, all the temperaments can be lifting the Christmas activities up in prayer. We can all present ourselves as a living sacrifice to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ not only at Christmas but all year long. May you be filled with His Love, His Joy, and His Peace this most Holy Christmas Season!

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